I like this guy I work with, but I’m his supervisor. I’m worried it could make him uncomfortable and be inappropriate if I were to let him know and the feeling isn’t mutual.
We always have great conversations and can talk for hours. We have a ton in common. We laugh all the time and I feel like we both flirt on the most basic and discrete level…. but I’m like 7 years older than him and we live in different states. I can’t get this dude off my mind! Any advice?
12 comments
How are u his supervisor, work at the same place and live in different towns?
Workplace relationships have a nasty tendency to end up turning into a messy nightmare – Unless you’re sufficently smitten to be willing to contemplate finding a new job if it doesn’t work out…. I’d steer clear in general.
More than that, you’re his supervisor. Flip the roles and even with entirely good intentions – people would automatically view it as deeply inappropriate bordering on harassment / coercion for a manager to hit on their subordinates…. It still would be, it’s just society tends to give less of a shit when it happens to men.
My advice is that there’s literally billions of other people out there – Regardless of how great this guy is, your respective positions preclude acting on your feelings.
Sure it sucks to find yourself nursing a crush for someone (TBH i’m not sure which is worse, when it’s unrequited or the agony of “what if?”) but you’re a big-girl-now & I’m sure this isn’t your first rodeo.
Nevertheless, such is life – I’d suggest remaining professional.
Get someone else on your mind or risk the smallest amount your willing to lose in the attempt to get him off your mind. Is the black and white of it, I guess?
DONT DATE YOUR COWORKERS DONT DATE YOUR COWORKERS
>I can’t get this dude off my mind!
Get him off your mind.
I like a 8y older woman than me at work, she is someone elses boss, and we are many in our building. Someting about her confidence makes me crazy and I think she is also keen on me, but I just started flirting with her. You are his supervisor and it might be harder for you.
Just do a proformance review on him. Ask him basic questions. Like stress at work, home, if he’s having issues we have resources to call. Here’s the number.
Hmmm imply your single but dont ask him out
Do not date coworkers. You could lose your job. It could be horribly uncomfortable for both of you. Not worth it.
No dating. We call it “husband at work”. Leave it at that.
I know you’re hoping someone here will condone you pursuing him but it’s best not to. You do what everyone else does; you acknowledge to yourself you like them, you acknowledge that it’s not worth fucking up your money and job stability by pursuing them, and you just ignore the crush until it fades.
Judging from her posts, she is smitten with him. Well good luck either way OP. You in a supervisor role though. Alot of people say no, but there’s a lot of places I worked at and people I know that met their spouses in the workplace. We’re there for a large portion of our lives. It’s where we’re going to meet people. Just take the room temperature at the job that you are at.
Worked at a target, they policy was we know your going to regardless if you really like each other. You can date outside of work and keep it appropriate at your job. Just could not be your direct supervisors. And be adults prepared for if you can’t handle if you stop seeing each other.