HELLO! Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this. Well, let’s begin by saying that I’m aware that I have always been pretty insecure about myself, I think I’m too ugly, I feel like I have no needs, so people shouldn’t care about me. He sometimes answers quite cold or says something implying that I was connected and I didn’t answer and even if I explained the reasons, I start to feel like I’m doing wrong, that I’m hurting him. I think I’m putting my whole world of view in what he says, and even though he’s great, it’s easy for me to get lost. It’s just that I can’t see myself, I don’t have an identity, I see him having lots of interests and I don’t, and when I try, I ended up sabotaging myself. I’m incapable of seeing someone good in me as he does.
Also sometimes, I feel kind of jealous, cause he have friends, and I don’t have any, he can go out with them, and even though I said to myself that that’s not a big deal, that maybe one day I can make a friendship, I feel hopeless about it. And it’s quite unfair that if I want to talk again with an old good friend he gets jealous, but he can have a female best friend without problem. But that doesn’t matter now because my old good friend doesn’t really care about me anymore.
So, I really love him, he is such a great guy, I think I’m going to messed up the relationship I don’t want to. I know I have insecurities problems and I’ve dealing with this for too long, and I don’t want to ruin anything.