I (27F) met this guy (28M) on hinge 2.5 months ago. Sometimes we’d be slow to text as we both work in the medical field, but we’d still reply to each other within a day. Longest without talking was 3 days. We’ve been on 5 dates, the last being Mon Sept 12 where we went for late night ice cream after his work meeting that went very well. We’ve had no disagreements. He even offered to do laundry together as a “date” just so we could spend time together despite our busy schedules.
I didn’t hear from him the rest of the week, but I knew he was busy as his parents were in town Thurs-Sun. I text him the following Mon (Sept 19) and get no reply. I again don’t hear from him the rest of the week. I text him Sat Sept 24 to see how his weekend is going, but I also have one of my friends (whom he hasn’t met) text him at the same time under the guise of a “wrong number” to see if he replies to her. He replies to her 2 hours later but not to me. I leave him a voicemail on Mon Sept 26 and said “Haven’t heard from you in awhile so wanted to make sure you’re okay. Seemed a little out of character not to hear back from you at all so I was getting worried. If you got busy with work or met someone else, I completely understand. If you could just lmk what’s going on I’d really appreciate it.” I heard nothing back..
Did I overreact?? I thought it was reasonable to be concerned and ask for some clarity after 2 weeks of silence and 2 ignored texts? This guy is so sweet & it’s out of character for him not to respond. We went from frequent & consistent communication to radio silence in the span of 1 week. If he hadn’t responded to my friend I would think he was dead.
It’s now been 1 MONTH of silence. Should I try messaging him on hinge (we’re still matched)? I’m worried about him and would like some clarity/closure, but I don’t want to come off as crazy. Should I give it more time? Being as we live 2 blocks from each other I don’t want to leave things on bad terms as there is a high likelihood we may run into each other on the street..
1 comment
You didn’t overreact.
If he had a single decent bone in his body or a millimeter of spine, he’d have answered you (or not ghosted in the first place as it’s the cruelest most cowardly possible act)—but he doesn’t. He’s not a decent guy and he is spineless. Anyone who makes other people worry about how they are when they’re perfectly fine is a dick.
Do NOT message him again. He’s not going to answer you. And depending on what kind of dick he is he may actually be enjoying the knowledge that you’re still hanging on wondering how he is. He’s either too guilty to do the right thing and fucking apologize or he gives no fucks and is telling his buddies how you can’t get over him and are stalking him. Either way—move on. Don’t waste one more day or one more drop of energy on this asshole. You deserve MUCH better. This is his loss not yours.