I’ve noticed over the years that I’m not similar to a lot of people my age. They’re all out getting food with their best friends and going to parties and whatnot. And here I am just watching them via social media. I’ve never been invited to go do anything like that except by my siblings. I’ve also noticed that most of my friends get pretty quiet when I’m with them. When someone else is in there they’ll talk and just kinda ignore me. I try to engage but I find it very difficult cause I don’t know anything about what they’re talking about or I can’t find an opening to engage. But when they do talk to me it’s just to ask me a question or comment on my maturity. I know I have childhood trauma which caused me to mature faster than other people, but instead of going the way everyone else went I became more calm, quiet, and formal. I’ve been compared to boujie people and been told that I have an old soul. I don’t really enjoy spending time around people like that, they always tend to be snobs and self-righteous. Is my maturity off-putting to my friends? Is it making them uncomfortable? I don’t know if I shouldn’t keep trying to talk to them or just give up on making friends, cause anytime I make a friend it always turns out this way.
3 comments
You should ask your siblings (they sound socially well adjusted) if you’re doing any particular off putting behaviors.
Are you talking to your friends saying your childhood trauma has made you extra mature? That could come off as arrogant/ self righteous even if you don’t mean if that way. (Props to you for recognizing snobbishness)
Is it a maturity gap or an interests gap? Maybe look for friends who share similar interests!
Lastly idk how old you are but don’t underestimate the bonding power of drinking together! Be safe ofc but yeah there’s a reason that workplace happy hour and conferences etc involve alcohol! Brings down barriers for all parties— they might have been feeling intimidated by your seriousness etc
Good luck op keep us updated
being quiet or into different things isn’t the same as being mature.
Maturity is about self-awareness/self-knowledge, and a sort of longer-term perspective/knowledge on where various actions/desires/paths eventually lead (whether they are healthy and ultimately and ultimately make you happier long-term).
Whenever someone calls himself more mature than others their age then he’s immature or mostly just a lame ass. Matured people can enjoy parties too.
You’re probably just different, that is not a problem, but don’t call yourself more mature because you don’t enjoy stuff.