I,19F, have a crush on big on this guy,19M, and it makes me sad.
Context: I have known him for one year and a half now. He is a nice guy and I never planned on feeling this way about him.
It makes me sad because the feeling will never be reciprocal. I do not plan on telling him that I feel this way since I know it will end up with him rejecting me. We are supposed to hang out next Friday. Honestly, it makes me sad that we could never be reciprocal because I could see myself in a, not toxic and mature relationship with him.
They say: “**You have to learn to love yourself before you can love someone else.** **Because it’s only when we love ourselves that we feel worthy of someone else’s love.**” But, after countless years of suffering bullying in school, I have learned to love myself and my self-esteem is pretty good.
I feel worthy of love, but I am scared that I will never find it considering I never even had my first kiss.
5 comments
Why wouldn’t the feeling be reciprocal? How do you know for sure you’ll get rejected? You guys get along well so he obviously enjoys being around you. Having your first kiss sooner doesn’t mean you’re more likely to find love. Eventually you’ll find that love is more than just the physical connections made with someone.
Nothing to be sad about, honestly. Just focus on the nice part of the feeling. You’ve found a person you like, you get to spend time with them. That’s more than many people ever get.
I won’t tell you bullshit like that he might reciprocate if you tell him. As someone who felt the realest feelings ever for an asexual I know that happens sometimes… I won’t even tell you you’ll end up with someone just as good because what do I know. I definitely haven’t so far and I’m 27 and don’t have time to meet many new people anymore. But it is likely such people are out there so you can definitely try. And till then you can enjoy what you have now. As I say, many people don’t even get that.
You may not like this answer but you need to just shoot your shot with him how do you know that the feeling won’t be reciprocal? I think you are limiting yourself if you can picture yourself being in a non-toxic, mature relationship with him and you can see yourself being happy with this guy by all means make it known that you are interested in him. You have three outcomes. The first is, making it known that you are into him and if he shows interest and you guys begin dating you will hopefully be very happy. The second outcome is you show him interest but he isn’t interested this one will hurt momentarily but it’s completely okay if he rejects you in a polite manner you had the guts and confidence to ask him out now you can move on. The third outcome is you bottle up your feelings and do not let him know you’re into him and you may watch him start dating other girls and then asking yourself “What if?” and living in regret. I would highly suggest avoiding the third outcome. If you end up asking him out let us know how it goes I hope you do end up dating I want you to be happy, you deserve to be happy with him because you are worthy of his love. You deserve love in your life.
You’re going to regret not taking a shot and never knowing more than taking a shot and being rejected. The pain from the rejection lasts a lot shorter time than regret for not taking a chance.
Do you realize, that it’s extremely dismissive of his feelings to just assume them? If you tell him or not is your decission, but the excuse you give is bullshit.
So better work on your excuses for being shy.