For context: the partner stated that they wanted meals to be an even split and even got irritated because they paid for one meal that was about $15 more than the next meal that I paid for and stated that it’s not an even split if they spent more on the other bill. To add even more context they have paid for all meals up until recently so it was a strange switch up that came out of nowhere. Keep in mind I spend money to travel to see him and would never ask for any compensation back. What would you do or feel? Thank you
9 comments
Yes. That would get old fast.
I’m a firm believer in DON’T GO DUTCH. Instead – take eachother out and treat eachother fairly! Then you get the good feelings of being treated and treating your partner.
Going Dutch feels cheap and not romantic.
I would 100% be turned off. I can understand wanting an equal input in the relationship, but keeping track of exact dollar amounts seems odd to me. If one person pays for a meal once and the other does the next that seems equal to me, no matter what was actually spent. If my partner had brought this to my attention I would offer to pay for my own food and drinks and have them pay for theirs, completely separate bills. This brings up the question if they order a more expensive meal than you, should you have to pay for half of their portion of that as well? If it’s that important to them that you pay half, the half that i’d pay is what my own portion is.
Yes. I think it’s cool to split and strongly believe he should not always be paying the full thing. But, it’s incredibly weird for him to keep track dollar by dollar.
But, with that said.. how old are each of you? Is he a struggling college student or a grown adult with a career? Either way, I think you should each pay/take turns/split whatever but age will determne my end thoughts.
Yeah, that seems petty and like accounting. A reasonable thing is to swap back and forth, not insist on dutch out of the blue and act all whiny about it.
Bringing up money is a huge turn off. But me and my guy casually address it beforehand. Generally if I invite him for a meal its implied that I’m buying, and vice versa. But sometimes we might be running errands and realize we are hungry and if we want to eat out might say something like hey, how bout we go to sushi and split the bill? Cause that makes.it affordable for both of us.
I think what most of us are looking for is reciprocity. You showed that. Obviously nothing in life is going to be exactly 50/50. If you get married he can’t give birth, right? So it’s more about pitching in, in a meaningful capacity, when and where you can.
The issue here is not one of reciprocity where you’re doing fine, but in being overly anal about it. That’s the turnoff about him, not the splitting.
I think the best path in general is to alternate, not to split checks.
That’s a problem. In a relationship like that, when does any partner treat the other in a spontaneous way? Probably never. The relationship becomes mechanical in that regard.
I don’t mind going 50/50, but exact tit for tat where hes keeping track of every dollar spent is exhausting and not a dynamic I’d want in a relationship.
this is just a classic case of people being cowards and not setting their boundaries early and just letting small amounts of resentment fester inside
the person was already upset they were paying for those previous meals but didn’t bring it up because they were scared of turning you off
then they finally cracked and showed their true nature
people like this can be problematic for other reasons, forget the food they will not bring up things they have issues with early on in relationships and explode on you on day