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My boyfriend and I live on the bottom level of a duplex. Our upstairs neighbors are chill, for the most part. They’re a married couple, if it matter, I’ve always gotten weird vibes from the wife. Can never exactly pin point what it is, just get weird vibes from her. They moved to our city because the wife is going to school at the local university. Our understanding is that the husband is putting her through school, paying the bills, and all that jazz… he went to the west coast during the summer for work. Fighting forest fires. He wasn’t even gone 2 weeks, and we heard her up there with another guy. We thought maybe it was something innocent, until one day, I came home from work (around 10 pm) and my boyfriend called my name. I went into our room (this part is important because our bedroom is right underneath theirs) I asked my boyfriend if he needed anything, and he said no, never mind. I went back outside, getting ready for bed, laid in bed and then we both heard the rhythmic creaking of the bed. I turned and asked my boyfriend what should we do? He said he didn’t want to get involved. At 3 am, we were woken up by someone up there dropping something, and we saw her drive away with the dude. She came back home and we just sort of moved on. Her husband is back home now, and my boyfriend and I are debating on telling him what happened. We don’t want to ruin someone’s life, but we also feel like he should know. So he suggested we come here. Should we tell him?!??
39 comments
Yes tell him
Yes you should. He deserves to know. Fuck cheaters.
Also, could you frame it as like.. “Oh, it’s nice that your girlfriend’s brother came over to keep her company while you were away. I’m sure she might have felt lonely with you gone for two weeks.”
drop a indirect hint. nothing else/ “oh we thought you came back early with all that bed movement we could hear… oh anyways”
Yds, find some way to tell him.
Should tell him, he deserves to know what’s going on and it could be years, or never before he finds out if you don’t which would be messed up imo.
That’s tricky. You could do something sneaky like maybe when you and your bf catch the husband alone and say something like, “hey (neighbour husband), we were trying to sleep the other night and we couldn’t because all we could hear is your bed creaking at 3 am. Could you maybe lower the noise down during sleep times? Thanks!”
That should be enough to raise suspicions.
Tell him. But maybe so that he finds out himself. Tell him you heard his bed when he and his wife were having fun one day he was gone and didn’t know he was back already. If he then asks for more, tell him.
He’s out there risking his life while his S/O is sleeping with someone else. You should let him know.
Leave a note on his car as a concerned neighbor about it if you don’t want to be directly involved. Just make sure to include everything you know and let him know that’s all you know. Do it when you know he will be leaving alone so she doesn’t see the note.
Or if you know him well enough and have his socials you could make a fake account to tell him. But I do think you should definitely tell him.
Yes
Yes tell him
I strongly disagree with everyone telling you to try to be coy about this. Literally just tell him. The absolute worst thing that could happen is that he doesn’t believe you and living under him becomes less pleasant – it’s already going to be unpleasant if you have to look him in the eye knowing what you know.
“we know it’s none of our business, but we wanted you to know that we saw a male guest leaving your place late at night while you were gone, and while he was over, we heard sounds coming from your bedroom that sounded like sex. We don’t know exactly what happened and we’re not making any accusations, but we can’t imagine what else could have been going on and we figure you can take this information and do with it what you will.”
Please tell him he deserves to know that way he can decide wether or not to stay.
How do you know they’re not in an open relationship? Personally, I would stay out of it for the simple sake of not involving myself in other people’s business.
Tell him. I’m sure you would want to know if you were in his shoes.
I personally would mind my business tbh how do you know they aren’t open?
I have a split level duplex as well, and I am upstairs. Husband lives there while wifey is away being a park ranger. I saw him several times with a different woman. Planned on telling the wife… until they were all sitting on the front porch laughing it up when I got home. They are poly. Downstairs neighbor has opened up about some of their partners after I laughed it off with him. 🤷🏼♀️
Omg if you don’t mind your Mf business
Mind your business
Imo staying out of other people’s drama is usually the best policy
mind your own business
“Hey we hate to be those neighbors but the floors are really thin and you guys got kind of loud on *insert days husband wasn’t home*. Just a heads up”
Stay out of their marriage. You don’t know what actually happened and you don’t know how he will react.
Treat him like you would want to be treated.
TELL HIM.
Was in a similar stitch senior year of high school and it turned out the couple’s relationship was messier than it appeared.. Letting things play out exposed the guy as a complete narcissist and abuser, by stepping back I was able to realize he was turning all our friends against her. Trust your gut!
I’d want to know.
Difficult one because you never know how someone will respond to that kind of info (metaphorical or literal “shooting the messenger”) and you have to live there.
You mention you are moving out, so I would wait until I was well out of there and then let your boyfriend tell him, directly and clearly, what you both heard and saw.
I would not tell him. It’s none of your business. You have no idea what their relationship is, nor do you know how he might react.
When you get involved in someone’s personal life to this extent, be prepared for the possible fallout. That isn’t me saying not to do it. I wish one of the many people who knew my ex regularly cheated on me would have said something. You just never know who is going to respond how. And no matter how anonymous you are, you need to be prepared for it coming back to you. Good luck with whatever you decide.
Just pretend you didnt know he was gone and say. I just want to let you know that the walls are thin and can you try to keep it down a bit. We could hear you and your wife going jackrabbits on the day it happened. Would appreciate your cooperatiom. Say thanks then walk away.
Mind your own fucking business, Jesus Christ!
No.
You should mind your own business and not involve yourself.
Do you know their dynamic? Are they a monogamous, swingers, open couple, or hotwife/stag? If you don’t know leave it alone or maybe you want to know if they are. They could have a relationship that when he leaves she get to have a friend.
As he originally said, it’s not your place to get involved in. This is one of those moments that it’s better to just mind your business than to say something because you also don’t know their marriage. You don’t know if they have an open marriage, are poly, etc. So better to just let it go
“Oh hey! Got back early huh? You and the wife been getting reacquainted <wink wink> for a few weeks now! I’d say welcome home, but I guess I just missed it when you actually came home…”
Absolutely you should tell him. I would want to know.
Start off asking if they’re in an open relationship making sure he doesn’t mind answering. Then say(whether or not he doesn’t mind) that you don’t wanna interfere but you just wanna inform you heard creaking noises at like 3am when the guy was gone and you’ve even seen her drive off with this guy bla. So that way, he will be tipped and at the same time it will come off as you guys just trying to help him know what’s going on when he’s away fighting forest fires . It won’t look like you guys are not minding your business because you’re not gossiping about it, you’re only informing him directly. This is my opinion. If I were in his shoes, I’d wanna know too, nobody is gonna just be cool if it wasn’t an open relationship
Not your business.
None of your business, stay out of it.