Wife on Reddit

41 comments

1. I married the man I wanted. I chased his ass down until he gave up. He’s an introvert and I’m and extrovert. He made me work for that shit too. Lol

2. I married the man I love and wanted, who is also stable

3. The man I wanted to marry. I was already stable and would still be even if he ceased to exist. It had nothing to do with me needing to be stable. I do however feel safer in the house with him now than alone.

4. Married the man I wanted to marry.

5. I married both. I was and still am madly in love with him, and he loves me, too. Stability is also something very important to me, and I had built stability when I was single and he has only added to it.

6. I don’t think you’d find many people who’d openly admit the latter.

7. Provide stability? Really? I owned my condo and car before I ever met my husband. I make 4x what he does. I married him because I love him. I didn’t need stability from anyone other then myself.

8. We got married at 21/22 so there was very little stability lol besides the fact that neither one of us had a problem keeping a job. That’s the only financial stability we provided each other.

   We married because we loved each other. It’s worked out, but we have been very lucky I think.

9. Both, I found a unicorn, lol.

10. The person I wanted to marry. Watching him become a father was one of the best things.

11. I think you watch too many movies if you think it has to be one of the other.

12. I married the man I wanted to marry and who loves me. I wouldn’t say he provides stability though. My life is more exciting with him in it and I adore that.

13. For me, I’m very lucky that they ended up being one and the same.

    I have realised from reading the other comments though that I may have a different definition of “providing stability” than others. Like the others, I can very much provide my own financial stability, I would never have needed a man for that. However, my husband brings a lot of mental/emotional stability to my life and a stability through just being this reliable constant in my life. I could never have married someone who didn’t provide this consistency. (Regardless of financial status)

    I think when people think they can’t have both it’s people who have a history of being attracted to the “follow their passions” types of partners who don’t prioritise partners – who also come with instability through lack of consistency. So it becomes a choice of wanting to be with a type who doesn’t want to settle but they love or the one who may not be their “type” but can provide that stable life. I would argue they are not a majority though.

14. Second for me. I mean l loved him but less than him, way less than him. I actually almost always pick the second option instead of the guy I love.
    I don’t fall in love easily but when I do, it’s too overwhelming for me and I back off and choose the safer option.

15. Married the man I wanted, and would do it again without question.

    I work and my husband is a stay at home dad, so I definitely didn’t marry him for money haha.

16. I married the man I loved who also provided stability. I spent a lot of time getting to know my husband and his values and his values are a big part of what attracted me to him. He was kind. I saw him while driving in his car, stop to save hurt animals or check on a kid who he thought was being bullied. He was a man who wasn’t afraid to break down in my arms in grief over the loss of his parents. He valued things like therapy and self improvement. It wasn’t the sort of stability offered by money as he worked in retail and didn’t make a lot of money and money stability isn’t what was so important to me. But it was the stability of being a good person who I knew loved me and would be my rock through the hardest of times.

17. I provide stability for myself. I married for love.

18. I married the man that I didn’t know I needed. He wasn’t necessarily what I had pictured growing up or all of the things on my “list”. But I realized those things weren’t important and that there were other more important things.

19. My husband provides, is stable, and I love him dearly. Really got all I could ask for.

20. I lucked out and he’s both.

    I make enough money to be fine on my own and I think that helped me to be able to pick a man because I wanted him not because I needed him. I wasn’t even interested in long-term dating when I met him but there was an instant connection and I think it wasn’t even two weeks before we had the exclusive talk.

    When we first got together we made about the same income. His head has increased quite a bit above mine.

21. The man I wanted to marry a man who loves me and was stable. I’m not sure what the disconnect here is?

    You mean, like I loved someone else who didn’t love me but chose the guy who did and had stability?

22. I married the man I love and built stable together.

23. I arrived the man I wanted, that checks all of my boxes.

24. I married the person I wanted to marry. I loved him for a long time from afar before we finally got together. He’s an amazing man. He’s kind, calm, funny as hell, loving, supportive, he’s my favorite person, and my best friend. I couldn’t imagine life without him.

25. Neither lol

26. I did not settle. I love my husband AND he is good for me!

27. I loved that man when we were just two teenagers who had nothing. He deserves all the credit in the world for how incredibly hard he works to make sure the kids and I are taken care of, but I’m here because I love him more than anything.

28. I married the man I wanted to marry. But that doesn’t mean that stability wasn’t a factor. I’m not the sort of person to fall in love with someone flighty, irresponsible, and unmotivated. His personality and values are part of the reason I fell in love with him, and love is why I wanted to marry him.

29. Option C: All of the above.

30. I married the man I fell in love with. Now with that said did I ask him a bunch of questions to make sure I was getting what I needed from him like stability, never being poor a again , a father for my daughter dame right I did. I already make a mistake with my first husband and I wasn’t doing it again. I also work my ass off for everything we have

31. Both. Lolol as it should be

32. Both. I found the guy that I love and the one who supports me in every way. In one person. And the sex is great too.

33. I guess I switch between the 2. or 3. I love my husband and i just don’t see myself with anyone else but him. there are definitely times where I feel indifferent due to just stress. we have 2 small children. we don’t get to do much of what we used to do for fun anymore. we used to do so much and it sucks looking back and missing those days where we were not home bodies. I keep telling myself things will even out. we are so blessed with our babies, we’ve become a good team parenting them. I’m trying to soak it all in with our kids but mourn what we used to be. we’ll eventually get back to us.

34. I married the man that I wanted to marry but I no longer feel the same way I did about him all those years ago.

35. D) All of the above.

36. I love my husband but he also brought things to the table that I lacked. I think I found him to be a very secure choice and I’d be lying if that wasn’t a deciding factor. But I don’t think I would’ve really fallen in love with someone that didn’t make me feel secure. So I guess it’s kind of a chicken and egg situation

37. I married all above.

38. What’s the difference?

39. It’s really weird that you phrased this as an either/or. I hope that’s not hinting at some icky manosphere ideology under the question.

    I married the man I wanted, who also brought a lot of stability into my life. Though since I also work and make decent money, a lot of that “stability” is in terms of problem-solving, emotional support, patience, loyalty, etc, in addition to the basic finance benefit of having two incomes versus one.

    I feel tremendously lucky the person I wanted and was insanely attracted to also happened to be the “right on paper” kind of guy. Some people (both men and women) aren’t so fortunate. But I was. Fourteen years in, and he’s still the single best thing that has ever happened to me. I would literally take a bullet for that man.

40. I married the man I didn’t have to chase, who was stable, loyal and predictable. But when I think back on previous relationships, I felt more intensity/lust towards those that had me on a rollercoaster. I ultimately decided on what felt safe and not the chase, but there’s something about an easy love that almost makes it feel like something is missing.

41. I’m lucky enough to have married the man I wanted to marry at 41. While that marriage didn’t last a lifetime, certainly learned a lot and was more prepared when I married the second time at 46. Was proposed to 4 other times in my life, accepted one proposal, broke it off less than two months later. Respectfully declined the others. I knew I would never commit to marriage unless my heart was 100% in it.