I just had a toxic/not good for me relationship end about a week ago. The details don’t matter but it ended abruptly when he betrayed me in a way that’s unforgivable and showed how toxic and low empathy he is when I found out. I am obviously deeply hurt and finally see him for who he is. Intellectually I understand he is not good for me and I absolutely deserve better but I am still heartbroken. How do you get past understanding you dodged a bullet to actually internalizing it so it doesn’t hurt anymore? I feel wounded and I know I can’t stay here but getting myself angry at him doesn’t help either. The worst is I keep having little flashbacks to the good moments with him and his stupid face randomly pops into my mind. Any tips on diverting those thoughts so they stop would be great. Thanks in advance for any advice or support you have. I’m struggling right now and want to feel better so I can find someone who’s truly worthy of me.
3 comments
Dating toxic people is a complicated issue, but can be fixed to finding a healthy relationship
Therapy, specifically it’s childhood trauma therapy, which teaches you to go over past trauma as an adult and comfort your inner child trauma.
Once that’s completed you learn self respect, and your attraction to toxic people changes, and your entire life around you changes for the better. There is several books that can help you get started.
If you can’t afford a therapist, you need a solid friend that’s just a sound board, and all they do is listen as you walk through bad things that has happened an you comfort yourself, telling yourself it’s ok you feel the way you do, and learn to self heal.
Two books I highly suggest
Healing the shame that binds you By John Bradshaw
The drama of a gifted child By Alice miller
Honestly? I wish i could help (same situation with me…), but I’m still trying to figure that out myself. It helps a lot to just cut ties with them completely. Though I’m a bit more fortunately and luckily done have many things that i associate with my ex.
Check out the YouTube channel Psych2go along with Cinematherapy. Those helped a lot. There’s also Kati Morton on YouTube… Butt uinn fortunately she just announced that she’s taking a break from YouTube, but still a great place for resources.
Replacing toxic habits with healthy habits is key here