In 2019, I met this shy girl, never talked to a guy, doesn’t even know how to kiss, and we immediately clicked, like nothing you have seen before. The only problem was, that her family was filthy rich, strict, and traveling for a long amount of periods was very usual for them and long-distance was very hard, but we always knew that it was worth it, considering how good of chemistry we had when we were together.
The girl loved me to the teeth, even when there would be bumps in the relationship (usually because of her strict parents), she would always be pushing and trying to keep me hooked on the relationship.
This dynamic was present for our 3 years of dating, we spent like 2 years on long distance (accumulated) and 1 year in the same country (accumulated).
On our 2.5 years together she got the opportunity to go continue her studies in France, I was really frustrated and told her she has to go, there is no way she skips the opportunity, but we have to break up. This can’t work any more, we are still young we can’t keep going through this (I am 20 she is 19). She begged to push a little more, and wanted me to apply to France with her. She even said that they have cancer in the family and that maybe one day she’ll get it, and she wants me in her life to at least be happy until then, and some really heartbreaking words.
I accepted, She went to France I applied for a Masters, We were back on Long distance.
While there she found it really hard to make friends and integrate herself socially, she would spend most of her first 3 months there on Video calls with me. And she went out with that guy called Karl from her school, every once in a while. One time he made her try electric cigarettes, and after that I knew he was a bad influence but dismissed it as it was not a big deal.
Fast forward 3 more month, her first results come in and they are terrible, she got overall a 30/100. She got the shock of her life, she did not understand what hit her and they excitement in her eyes started fading, she became like a corpse. Her parents were surprisingly understanding but she still was not back to normal. She looked as she got redefined by those results. At that point the universities that I applied to has 2 more weeks to tell me if I got accepted for the Masters in France or not.
1 week after her results, she messages me saying that she wants a Break from the relationship, that the stress of waiting for me and not being certain if I’m going to come to France was a big part of why she got such bad grades, and that we were young to go through that kind of dynamic. As usual I was fine with it gave her a week break, for her to relax get everything out of her chest. Not going to lie I felt something was coming, I called her second day into the break told her that if she wants to break up, to just say it and not to play with my feeling nor waste our time. She insisted she wanted a Break.
After 1 week of pain and passing through the 5 stages of a breakup, I call her, she seems excited, back to normal, and doing great, she wants to open a video call and talk while she is smiling. She tells me she lost weight, she is going to a reinforcement school, so they can give her support for her classes! Great!
She tells me that this break really opened her eyes, and she is happier while being single, and I was really over it, I told her we can stay friends no problem and that was it. I ask her what she did in this 1 week, and she said that she had lots of fun, went out with the guy from her school and introduced her to some guys, and then she unveils a huge fucking bloody Hickey on her neck! I was in denial, I kept my cool, so I get to know all the details, maybe she was messing with me. Apparently, the guy from her school took her to a party and literally pimped her to his friends acting like he was some kind of protective bigger brother, and she was believed that 100%.
As soon as I closed the line, I snapped, I messaged her some really hurting stuff, said I don’t want to be even friends with someone as cheap as her, and stuff along that line, while she said she was thinking of giving another chance to our relationship! I just went crazy… blocked her everywhere.
That shy girl that has strict parents, that had me get her back at 8 every day to her house so we avoid her parents getting mad. Gets over our relationship in three days and goes and has fun with other guys! I was amazed, and here is the part where I don’t know if I fucked up or not, but I knew I was burning bridges here.
I had two options, keep silent and let this girl that I considered my little sister for 3 years get guided through bad influence into the worst sides of Paris, or contact her aunt and try to explain to her the situation, so they can supervise her better to avoid her future being jeopardized. And that’s what I did. The next day I got blocked by all her friends and her family stopped responding to any of my texts. Did I choose the wrong decision?
TLDR: I Broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years and told her parents about what she did to avoid her going deeper into a bad path that could ruin her life, even though I could’ve easily kept shut and got over her as nothing had happened. What was the right thing to do?
4 comments
Wait, you thought of her as “my little sister” and she was also your girlfriend? That’s an odd dynamic.
So I think it really boils down to the reason you felt most compelled to call her aunt. Do you actually fear for her safety to this level, or was it that in that moment you were angry and knew she would be put on a leash by her family?
Realistically, you never had to say a word to her family. I get that you wanted them to know but in the wording of the post it really sounds like you were more upset that she moved on, even after saying you went through the stages of breakup on the break.
For her safety it was probably the right thing to do but if you did it out of anger/ jealousy not out of true concern then your action was right but your motive was wrong
This has nothing to do with her safety. A 20 year old woman can try e-cigs and get a hickey ffs. You wanted to get her in trouble. The sooner you acknowledge this the sooner you can grow from it. You have a lot of gross ideas towards women.