After years of isolating myself, I decided to connect with my old friends again. Problem is, I have no idea what to say when they’re going through difficult times, such as a breakup, or relationship problems, etc.
People on reddit are so amazing at giving advice and always know just the right words to say. Whereas I literally have no thoughts when someone shares their problems with me. I go blank. Like, my brain just goes numb.
How do I improve myself? I’ve been reading books a lot, but so far, it hasn’t improved my ability to think and have something useful to say. I’ve been lurking on reddit and reading meaningful advice, opinions and words of comfort for years, but I’m still blank and awkward.
These friends have comforted me in my times of need, and I want to be able to do the same. How do I improve my ability to have the right words to say and comfort people?
Any advice is appreciated! Thank you.
1 comment
When people are looking for advice or emotional support I often ask myself if I were in their shoes would I know exactly how they’re feeling? What do they react differently to compared to me and why? How does it feel to hurt the way they do? If you can’t imagine being in their situation and how they’d feel then you’re not on the same page. People like to be understood and often times I’ve noticed putting in a bit of effort to really understand how they’re feeling makes them feel less alone compared to generic advice. They could probably get that same advice from anyone else so why confide in you?