I’m a 21 year old woman who is a virgin and can’t seem to have penetrative sex, despite how much I want to have it. My boyfriend of almost two months and I tried having penetrative sex, but every time we would try, he could only get past the tip of his penis before I would start sobbing and tell him to stop because it hurt so bad. We tried lube as well but that didn’t work either. He recently broke up with me, and while he never said that was one of the reasons why he wanted to break up with me, I can’t help but feel like it that may have been a reason why he didn’t want to be with me anymore. And I’m worried that I’ll never be able to have it and that worry is making me feel really insecure ngl
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Sexual compatibility is really important to a lot of people, ngl.
>And I’m worried that I’ll never be able to have it
You should be proactively looking for solutions for your Vaginismus. Consult a gynecologist, seek advice from the sex sub etc.
I might seek professional help. I don’t think your condition warrants comments from here. U could get lucky and get a good answer but why risk it.
You go to your gynecologist and they give you stretchers. It’s no big deal
You should see a gynaecologist. It might be a condition called vaginismus or other-related issues.
Join us on r/vaginismus. It may not be what you have – go to your doctor or gyno to see if there is another reason – but this is more common than you think. I had it really severely but after a few months of doing a lot of treatment (at home, without spending much money!) I’ve been able to have penetrative sex. Feel free to message me if you need advice ❤
Man, this sucks. I’d suggest working with your gynecologist on this. I had this issue when losing my own virginity, years ago, and it was pretty painful, bloody, and traumatic. They might have some sort of medicine to help you relax, or a procedure to help you when you find your next partner. I was lucky, in that my partner was way more patient than this, with the long process. At least he did you a favor, and you didn’t lose it to such an asshole. Be ready next time. I just went ahead and eventually sucked up the pain, and got through it, but it was at least 20 times, instead of just the first, that I bled, and experienced this. I’d be worried about injuring yourself etc too, so a doctor is a must.
Lady you are the golden unicorn for lots of men who have crazy small penises. Go and live happily ever after.
Talk to your doctor
I took a peek at your history OP and it’s pretty clear this wasn’t the only issue. You were dating a guy for two months and he was already exhausted by your emotions – that means you were likely overburdening him (which is something you realized in a previous post). I had a relationship like this, and there came a time she was just asking for too much and I was pouring from an empty glass so we broke up. But two months in is WAY too early for that to happen, so I think that’s a major issue you’re going to have to resolve internally.
Sure, maybe this had something to do with it because some men stay in exhausting relationships if the sex is phenomenal. But your relationship sure wasn’t dandy outside the bedroom either, so I really think you might need to look at the situation more holistically.
FFS girl go see a doctor, have you ever been to an OB/GYN?
Go see a gynecologist
Are you even turned in when you are trying this? If not, it has nothing to do with medical conditions. You can’t just jam things in there without pain.
Find smaller D.
Just wanna say I agree you should maybe seek medical help but I think a lot of these comments are either mean or unhelpful so I just wanna let you know that there’s so much more to you than your ability to do this one thing, and the right person will support you without making you feel at fault or pressured. Sending you love
I had a vaginismus too, my ex couldn’t even get a finger in without me feeling like I was going to die from the pain. What personally helped me a lot was ordering different dilators (of five different sizes), then getting the smallest one in really slowly (with lube), always focussing on widening my hip and stuff like that. After I did this every day for like a whole week, I could do the second one, and all the other ones followed. Now I can have penetrative sex with my bf with no issues, only a bit of pain at the beginning. As long as I focus on relaxing my hip, everything works fine. So that might work for you as well! Remember your self worth isn’t tied to this, though.
Girl I think you need to discover yourself and love yourself first. Only then will you find better men out there that will understand you. If he was so great he would’ve gone to the gyno with you to find solutions so you both can have intimacy. I had a douchebag of an ex that would get upset with me whenever i told him our intimacy was giving me painful uti’s. Instead of helping me find solutions and tell me that he loves me no matter what, I was crying and felt so alone during that time. I eventually dumped him. I no longer have to go through that again and never will I ever with any other guy that makes you feel like some object to dump his penis in and not care how you feel after emotionally or physically.
Similar issue here, if it’s a matter of trying to fit the whole penis in and it hurts you can maybe try dilation with smaller dildos and such. If it’s just always hurts no matter what you put up there, definitely try to get that checked out by your gyno
I had the same problem. You’re just not with the right guy. Did you have foreplay? Did you actually want to have sex? Or did you just feel pressure with only 30 minutes of foreplay. Foreplay can be like 4 hours long ideally.
i would be 100% fine with just oral sex – some guys may even prefer this
I’m sorry this is happening to you. Definitely go to the doctors and figure out what’s wrong but also maybe it’s good he removed himself from your life because if this is a life long condition you’re going to need someone who is more understanding and patient than that. Two months is not really that long at all so you will be okay your heart will heal❤️❤️