what is a dating standard you always got criticism for but still keep regardless?

43 comments

1. Cant/won’t date trump supporters

2. No Republicans.

3. The style of the person. I won’t date a woman unless she dresses very feminine + cute (as opposed to feminine and sexy). I’ll die on this hill 🤷🏻‍♀️

4. I won’t date someone less than 10 years older than me, like probably will change when I’m older but I’m just not into women my age, I’ve always always been into women who are older. I can’t help what I’m attracted to but it definitely made dating hard till I met my gf (who is 18 years older than me)

5. Looks matter a lot and I don’t have to waste time on someone who has a ‘kind heart’ but who I’m not attracted to (I actually had a number of friends say it was shallow not to give a guy a chance based on his looks).

   I won’t waste time on a close-minded guy who’s either a hardcore liberal or hardcore right-winger. Both political sides have major issues and I absolutely need someone who is willing to discuss and research issues and discuss them with me rather than absolutely refuse to change their mind and blindly follow a political party. My favorite thing about my husband is his ability to talk about politics and religion and over the years both of us have agreed or disagreed about stuff but have had really deep talks and still accept each other’s beliefs. I think that’s important in a partner because you do change over the years and someone who can’t change with you or accept you changing is a disaster waiting to happen. I know a lot of people who thought I was being unreasonable for not dating someone just based on their politics.

6. I dislike facial hair. Trimmed even more because it’s itchy😂.

   Surprisingly I got more heat from females about that than guys.

7. Not wanting to date someone who has kids. “Oh, but he only has his kids part-time!” or, “but his kids are older!” No, there’s a huge difference in a lifestyle with kids and one without. There’s no compromising there and I wouldn’t expect someone to choose between me and their kids. It’s best to just opt out from the start.

   I know someone who married someone with kids and the amount of work to create a blended family was eye-opening, and it confirmed that it just isn’t for me.

   Similarly, I couldn’t date someone who wanted kids. What compromise could there be? You either have a kid or you don’t. It can be a fool’s errand for one person to try and change the other person’s mind (in either direction). Some people do change their mind, but it’s important to me to find someone who’s on the same page. I’m not willing to emotionally invest in someone that I have to try to persuade to agree with me on something so major.

8. They have to be within a year of me and can’t be a trump support/republican/conservative. I don’t date white people because I prefer someone worried understands my personal experiences.

9. People who speak poorly to/about others. Complaining about work is one thing, but trash talking at excess really bothers me. Small minds talk about other people.

10. Strangely enough, no gun owners or gun enthusiasts. Even though I tell people I’m afraid of guns, I always receive criticism for my choice. I get bingo-ed with questions like “what if he locks them away so you can’t see them?” And “what if he just has one gun for protection?”

    It doesn’t matter; I said no guns at all.

11. I don’t date gamers or men who watch porn. I am constantly told this is unrealistic yet I’ve never had problems on the dating scene so…

12. [removed]

13. Education and University

14. I wouldn’t date a person that is really overweight because our lifestyle would be so drastically different that it would be hell for everyone.
    So many people told me that it was body shaming, but I never said that they were bad people because of their weight. I just wouldn’t date someone that can’t have the same (or similar) lifestyle than me.

15. It’s not that I always got criticism for it because I rarely mention it but when I did, I had people disagree with me so… If I ever get into the dating pool for real (both my relationships so far started off as friendship so I was lucky enough to avoid it, the second relationship is still going strong)

    I would refuse to see someone who dates multiple people at once. If you are seeing me, you are ONLY seeing ME and I am ONLY seeing YOU. In my book dating IS exclusivity. If I find out that you date multiple people, even if not “exclusively” then I’m out.

    Also absolutely no sexual intimacy before getting into an exclusive relationship. Want to test the waters before getting into a relationship? Sure go ahead but not with me.

16. Won`t date alcoholics or nightclubbers. Also no single dads.

17. I won’t date ppl with kids. Old, young, whatever. My dad went THROUGH IT trying to blend families and everyone suffered. Not doing it to me, not doing it to some innocent kids. I’m not the one.

    One new standard I have is teetotal. But I haven’t dated enough to test it because I refuse to date rn, but when I do I’ll be interested in what the blowback is.

18. They have to have been to therapy. I’m done babysitting emotionally stunted men

19. After dating people who don’t have a job but are *working* on getting a job – I will now only be dating people with active employment. “Starting a business” and then doing nothing for two years be damned.

20. Income level

21. When I was single I never ever dated single dads. I always got judged for it by family and friends. I never had a desire to have my own kids let alone raise someone else’s kids that aren’t mine. I’d be miserable and I’m so glad I never settled. Being a stepmom and #2 in a relationship would be my worst nightmare.

22. I won’t date men who are unemployed and have no true desire to find employment.

23. I will not date someone that couldn’t provide for me. I’m successful myself and do very well financially, but I also want my man to have those same ambitions and success. Sorry not sorry

24. I don’t do 1 night stands/i.e. ‘hook up culture.’
    It’s just not for me.

25. I don’t date fat people. I don’t care if it’s shallow.

26. Don’t stay friends with exes or past lovers.

27. dont date men who read the game. dont date men who follow andrew tate. wont date men that wont use a gun / weapon to defend me or the household.

28. No Religious people for me

29. No smokers, no right wing person, and I have very little tolerance for bigoted “jokes” or “casual bigotry”.

30. I don’t pay on the first date that the guy asks me out for. If I do, I won’t see him again. I’ll pay for the second date or pay for tickets for us to do activity together but not the first date. And idc what anyone says or thinks of it lol. And to people who say dinner means he expects more. False. He also (especially) expects more after drinks

31. Getting tested before getting physical, even kissing. It just gives me a piece of mind.

32. won’t date a non vegan. i actually got slack and hate for this … i found my vegan man though. idk why your morals aligning with your partner should be an issue anyways… lol

33. This is a reach for some but it is the bare minimum!!! be clean, have good hygiene, don’t eat like a pig, have respect for your own and other people’s space and just clean up after yourself

34. I come first. I will keep my friends, keep my hobbies, keep my passions. My partner adds to my life, he is not my life.

35. I only date men who are financially smart/competent/resourceful or are making a genuine efforts to improve their financial situation and can actually show me evidence that they are financially well.

    Way too often I am told that I am a Golddigger because people immediately think I am only looking for men who are rich. No the fuck I’m not, you can be poor as shit I don’t actually care.

    I just don’t want to date someone who constantly gets themselves into financial turmoil, constantly spends more than they make, constantly maxes out credit cards, doesn’t know how to pay bills properly, just doesn’t know how to manage themselves financially. I don’t really understand why I’m met with so much opposition whenever I say this.

36. I won’t date highly active sporty men.

    I love to watch sports. I just hate doing sport. Exercising to me is an hour walk around the neighborhood every two days, and swimming – moving in the water (slowly), when I feel like it.7

    But seriously, I like spendingy week-end watching shows and reading at home, goingbout to movies, concert, game night, occasional diner.

    I like my vacation to be eitheir visiting cities, their landmark, their museum, their people, or go to the beach, and just play in the water. Or just float. That’s relaxing.

    Anyway, I doubt a sporty guy would want that lifestyle anyway…

    But a surprising amount of friends seems to think it could work, and think it’s a great thing that you actually never spend much time together.

    .

37. 1. I only date feminists (people who both self-identify as a feminist and behave in demonstrably, consistently feminist ways)
    2. I only date people who have zero issues with the use of sex toys during sex
    3. I only date people who have zero issues with period sex

    Guys on Reddit like to yell at me about these, including sometimes telling me that I’m being unrealistic for wanting these things from all of my partners, despite the fact that I’ve had many many partners of whom all of these things were true, including my spouse.

38. I won’t date a Republican. Or a musician. Especially if they play the guitar.

    I used to work at at a coffeehouse that had open mic nights. So many sensitive white guys with acoustic guitars. Just not my bag.

    I dated a musician ONCE. When I told my mom I said, “Yes this is a mistake but it’s my turn to be stupid.”

    Mom married and divorced my dad who is a musician.

39. If they drink alcohol or do drugs often. I myself am a teetotaler and I don’t mind dating someone who drinks occasionally or smokes pot occasionally (when I’m not around), but if it feels like it’s a big part of who they are as people I just can’t deal.

    Cigarettes are also just an instant dealbreaker. Have some childhood trauma related to cigarettes and the smell makes me want to vomit.

40. I’ve learned I can’t accept a man who likes or comments on sexual instagram posts. It’s a public forum. And you’re publicly dating me. One or the other

41. I’m vegan and I’d like to date another vegan or vegetarian at least. I’m also open to date someone who might eat a little meat but think vegan food is interesting.

    Most people think I’m unrealistic or crazy for that, but hey for me it’s a big part of my value system.

    Also, I don’t date gamers or guys that has an inactive lifestyle, it just doesn’t mesh with my lifestyle at all.

    For this reason people might think I have high standards but I’m just calling them standards for me.

42. I’ll only date someone who has a similar education and white collar job. Some people seem upset by that but I know what kind of life I want to lead…

43. I won’t date emotional unavailable man or women.

    Or people that don’t see an partnership as a team.