How do you deal with gaining weight in a relationship?

23 comments

1. Don’t worry, snacks are friends.

2. By nagging my partner to go for nightly walks with me.

3. You have fun you go out it’s normal to gain weight
   I myself gained alot of weight we decided to cook more and go to eat out less you can always go on walks together and workout together
   In my heart it doesn’t make me that sad like okay I gained weight I had fun tho he loves me the same I love him the same so what we got a lil thick you know thick thighs save life’s ❤

4. Change my routine and what I’m doing. Relationships shouldn’t make you gain weight

5. I did after getting married cause my husband loves food and part of our love language is eating out and getting dessert together lol. It’s been a struggle for sure and I had a hard time accepting my body as it currently is but I feel like following body positive accounts of women who have a similar body type as me has helped SO much. I never look at any of those women and focus on their weight, I just think about how beautiful they are.

   I’ve spent quite a few years at this current weight, but I have finally come to a place where I’m actively trying to lose weight and be healthier. It 100% helps that my husband has never once told me or hinted that he found me less attractive or that he wanted me to lose it. He’s been nothing but wonderful and I appreciate that so much.

   I think it also helps to accept that people change so much throughout their lives. Most people aren’t going to stay the same size they were in high school. And even if they do, there’s still wrinkles, stretch marks, losing hair, etc. I feel like also if you truly, deeply love someone for who they are, these things become so much less important. My husband also gained a good bit of weight after we got married and it literally had zero affect on my attraction or love for him.

6. I’m 38. I won’t get lighter at this point. I accepted this 3 years ago. My relationship better deals with realities!

7. I think it depends on how much you gain.

   There are so many reasons for why people gain weight. I feel like the vast majority of people really don’t stay at the same size their entire life so it would be kind of unrealistic to seriously expect your partner to just never fluctuate in size.

   The only time I would really care about weight gain is if it’s excessive. I personally would never date someone who is obese and if my partner becomes obese then we’re gonna have an issue.

8. I’ve never been concerned with my weight and I love food so I just enjoy the food.

9. By breaking up

10. I may be a dissenting voice here, but I work hard to stay in shape. I find myself most compatible with partners who choose the same. I’ve been with overweight men and I do grow resentful. They never want to do anything active, complain the whole time if I manage to get them out and active, and it begins wearing on my attraction levels.

    I also respect how difficult monogamy can be, and staying in shape for me is a sign of respect for my partner who has committed to only fucking me. I would want him to do the same. Of course that’s an overly simplified answer, and my commitment to my partner is much bigger than his weight, and I’d hope his would be too, but in general I’m happiest and healthiest when we are both active and in shape.

11. we try to cook at home most nights instead of going out. we’re not big drinkers and stay away from beer as much as possible. we also rarely drink soda and try and limit our sugar intake. my boyfriend and I both love hiking and walking so that is pretty convenient.

12. I wouldn’t bat an eye if either of us goes through minor fluctuations. No one’s body exists just to be “perfect”, it is normal to fluctuate. Someone judging me for it won’t be worth my time. However gaining a significant amount is a matter of worry for both health and attraction.

13. You’re probably not going to be the same weight for your entire life. Find a happy balance for yourself between trying to maintain your health and still being able to live in the moment. And what that balance looks like is probably going to change over the course of your life.

14. Together

15. Look at old paintings depicting women and remember most of us are meant to be soft and squishy!

    But also if you were fit before the relationship you probably have been taking less you time and focusing more on the togetherness which is normal. Plus you are learning to integrate another person into your life which means routine switchups! For me I definitely did this (plus we got together right before covid so double whammy) now that it’s been 3 years I’ve gotten back into my own hobbies and routines, we go out less and cook more at home. It started as an effort to get back into my active hobbies like hiking and yoga, but now that I’ve remembered how good it makes me feel (mentally and physically) it’s become easy to make that time for myself. I’ve also just accepted that my body isn’t meant to be a stick figure and embrace the balance of enjoying a baked good and enjoying a vinyasa class lol

16. By having a supportive husband who tells me I’m beautiful no matter what and who also gains weight with me by eating lots of snacks in bed with me lol

    But then when I’m committed to losing he also commits too. I love him so much

17. I am trying to lose weight. Desperately

18. I haven’t gained weight, rather struggle to put some on.

    My husband however has gained weight, lost it, then gained it back a number of times since we’ve been together. I love him just the same, no matter his weight. When he wants to try to lose some weight, I’m supportive, encourage him to work out, help by cooking to fit his diet, etc.

19. Weight is not even on the list of things that matter to me in a relationship. If I or my partner gained or lost a lot of weight suddenly that is indicative of a bigger problem and we should go to the doctor ASAP.

    Anyone who wants to fuck with me about my weight is going to get an earful about eating disorder triggers.

20. I can’t tell if you’re asking what I do about my own weight gain or that of my partner.

    I watch my weight very carefully, I eat healthy and workout 6 days a week. I weigh as much as I did in highschool. I was in one relationship during which I ate too much comfort food (it was an abusive relationship and I think I was self medicating with tostinos) and I gained a considerable amount, but that relationship was the exception and my weight doesn’t fluctuate much since then.

    My husband has gained a little weight since we met. He worked out every day when he was single and I know he’s just comfortable and happy now and letting it slide a bit. I don’t mind a few extra pounds, but if he became obese I’d be uncomfortable with it (so would he). I don’t find severely obese people attractive generally.

21. Been with the same person for 19 years. I wasn’t small when we started dating. So I honestly didn’t feel self conscious about my weight at all. Although maybe that’s because I purposefully gained the weight as my parents stayed in roadside motels and people stopped trying to rape me when I got fat.

22. By dialing back my caloric intake, increasing my activity level, and going on with things. I don’t beat myself up for getting a bit off track, I just get back in to my healthy routine and keep it moving.

23. It happens. Im 40 weeks pregnant and literally I’ve gained 50% more weight than 9 months prior!

    I know I’ll lose it and even if I dont I make sure not to surround myself with shallow people.