Ive got the“ I thought you were mean “alot .Sometimes I watch the random stories my friends post of me and I look really angry when I actually wasn’t.
I was once asked by a resident at the hospital:“why are you always mad“ ,he never spoke to me before .meanwhile I was literally just paying attention to what he’s saying just like all the other students. I awkwardly replied Im not (with a stutter of course)
I was by the tailor yesterday with my mom ,and after the convo we had with him
My mom told me:“why are you so arrogant“,
I liked this man and if anything I was just being myself and literally just having a conversation.
I tried to work on my rbf by smiling more but I was preoccupied with it , I was focusing on my mannerisms more that what the person is talking about.
But the problem is strangers are always automatically mean to me because they think I will be mean to them.
I look like Im dominant but in reality Im a literal chicken ,so its a lose lose
I dont get people to talk to me and if they do they will be repelled by my socially anxious self
Has anyone experienced this?
Any advices?
3 comments
I get this a lot too I’m a really quiet person and people tend to think that I’m mad especially from first impression but once they know me I’m definitely not mad at anyone.
I have a frown, but it comes from paying attention or contemplating. people ask, why are you angry or do you disagree with something. I’m also very matter of fact, so i constantly check my tone of voice to avoid misconceptions. I don’t try to be dominant, I just work hard at not showing my insecurities. I’m a lot older now & have got more self aware of what I come across as, kind of a learnt skill. Being around kids funnily enough bought out my fun & warm side, it was unintentional therapy. I also learnt to reply to the ‘why you so mad’ with quick witty retorts, find some for you, as humour can get us out of trouble socially. At least you’re self aware, that’s a win 😊
I always hated when they asked something like “why do you aways look so serious?” Or “why are you mad?”
I find that having an interest in people and talking to them helps to counteract any impression they had of you in the beginning. You can keep in the interactions short if you want but they at least serve to help convey that you’re not as closed off as you might seem. Once people see you interacting with others they may feel more comfortable interacting with you.
I personally find rbf really attractive so I don’t really see this as a problem. Its really a mixture of how you look + how you interact with others. So I dont think you should change how you look, just make more effort in talking to people