Hello! I just need some advice on how to end things with my current partner. We’ve broken up before but it would end in no caller ID calls, showing up to my house, fake accounts and emails. He’s still cheating on me but thinks I don’t know, I haven’t had the energy to have him lie/yell at me over it.
We’ve been together for 3 years, he has cheated on me since the very beginning. He’s made up lies, kissed other girls, been on dating apps, slept with other people and Idek what else. He lied to me about everything and I’ve felt like I couldn’t escape, it was such a toxic cycle. He introduced our parents, we were on the verge of getting married, and he was still cheating the whole time. He’s told people I was the ‘crazy ex/gf’ even though we were together.
Regardless, I have never cheated on him, I never would, and I still care about him.
We’ve been together from September 2019-now, and there were only a few months (September 2021-January 2022) when he wasn’t cheating on me (to my knowledge). We had some issues but that was the best he ever treated me. I had to move to a different city for school in February, and since then the cheating and lies have amplified to a crazy amount. He keeps saying he’s trying to change and that he’s not good for me but the truth is he’ll never change, especially not with me. The stuff he lies about is insane (having cancer, mom dying, getting into car crashes, telling people I’m mentally ill), and I think the only way he’d ever stop is if he went to therapy.
We’ve broken up an endless amount of times (his choice) and we would get back together, I would’ve dealt with anything to be with him, but I’m over it. Right now, he’s ‘working on himself’, to have a ‘better’ relationship with me, but he’s followed over 50 girls in the span of 2 days, started talking to other girls on Snapchat etc. all he does is lie and cheat, and try to string me along. I’m done getting hurt and I’m done being lied to and cheated on because I don’t deserve that.
He’s just been constantly lying over the past week and I’m so over it.
We had a conversation yesterday when I realized how badly this relationship messed me up. He was going to the gym, eating healthy, and reconnecting with ‘old friends’, and honestly he looks better than ever. I was crying because of him everyday, I lost an extreme amount of weight, gained it back, lost it again, stopped doing things I loved, and I just looked and felt like a rat. When we started dating, I was confident, and I was thriving physically and emotionally. He LITERALLY drained me from every aspect.
I know I deserve better now, I have SO much love to give and he does not deserve it. I hope the best for him, and ideally I would want him in my life but I don’t want to be with him anymore. I don’t know how to end things with him and have it stick. I don’t think he’s a bad person (he needs to go to therapy lol) and I want to have a healthy friendship with him , but I do not want to be in a relationship with him any longer. I don’t know how to tell him this and actually have it stick. I’m okay with not having him in my life, but he always blows my life up in some way when we don’t talk.
TL;DR! Not sure how to end toxic relationship with my boyfriend on good terms
2 comments
> I hope the best for him, and ideally I would want him in my life but I don’t want to be with him anymore.
Why? He sounds like just an all around shitty person. Break up, go no contact, be clear with your mutuals why you broke up, move on. He’s not worth your time.
tl;dr Why would you want to be on good terms with a toxic person?
“I don’t want this relationship anymore. It’s over.”