So me and my ex recently broke up after 3 years about a week and a half ago because she wants me to “find myself” and “be happy”. We had a lot of great memories and hardships as well (like any long term relationship). We stayed in touch for a little while and was trying my hardest to get her back but nothing was working. A couple days went by and this dude texted me and goes “yo” and then never responds. after that she told me she didn’t wanna give me false hope and lead me on as she said she has feelings for someone else. This hit me hard as we always talked about growing old and having kids when we got older. I took a step back for a bit and didn’t have a lot of contact with her maybe a couple snapchats a day, but then last night happened and I got a snap from her (my ex) and it was the dude and her cuddling in bed. My heart dropped and I got really angry. After that I took a deep breath and I decided to unadd her from my Snapchat, so at this point we have 0 contact with each other. There’s a part of me that wants to add her back or text her and see how she is doing, but I’ve been reading up and talking to family and
friends and they are all telling me to do no contact for awhile and focus on myself. I honestly just hate the fact I can’t do anything and I’ll never be able to see her again. A lot of my family said this is a
rebound relationship and is only seeing this dude because of her feelings still for me and it helps her move on. But the fact is the couple days after we broke up I was trying to do anything to get us back together and all she said was “idk if can be with you anymore”. And so this makes me feel hopeless. All I desire is for us to live a long loving and charismatic relationship with each other. Is there anything I should or can do right now to help my chances of getting the love of my life back? I just need help, I miss her horribly and know I will forever. She was perfect.
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I officially hate your ex. What a dick move. TBH she probably did you a favor and I agree with your family don’t contact that person. If that dude tries contacting you say this “ please leave me alone I just found out I have HEP B and I’m really having a tough time and don’t have time for this” lol I’m kidding don’t do that but just tell him and her to F off and go live a happy life and I’m mean happy and successful, best revenge ever. Good luck buddy you got this
Dude, from someone who was in your exact situation and got back together/tried to make it work after, **DON’T**
I went through another few years of hell, always checking she’s not cheating, ruminations, intense anger, anxiety, sadness and guilt and it affected me to the point of a suicide attempt.
Hindsight being what it is, I *wish* I had the strength to move on.
I met someone after the attempt, and she’s changed my life for the better, and I believe that you can too.
Yeah the feeling sucks, but you get over it with time and long term it’s better for you.
Dm me if you want to talk
Take care of yourself first and foremost and good things will follow
No. Please move on. You can’t (and shouldn’t want to) coerce someone into being with you. If someone doesn’t love you when you are just relaxing and being yourself, then they aren’t “perfect” for you.
If she had given you specific, honest examples of things you did wrong or that she wished you would change about yourself, it might be worth trying to meet her needs that way. But it doesn’t sound like she did that. Saying she wants you to “find yourself” and “be happy” is a nice way of saying that she doesn’t love who you are anymore.
I know that hurts, but you have to let her go. If she decides she missed out, she’ll come back. But you need to assume she’s gone forever and move on with your life.
How can she be perfect if she’s sending you a pic of her and him cuddling? So toxic.
I’m sorry. I know it really hurts but honestly she isn’t perfect like you thought, to do that. Bit someone will be and you’ll be glad you were strong and dignified. You got this
>then last night happened and I got a snap from her (my ex) and it was the dude and her cuddling in bed
>
>She was perfect
LOL…you and I have very different definitions of “perfect”. This was a righteous asshole move. I get that break ups are hard and all. But why in the holy hell would you want to get back with someone like this? Why don’t you feel angry and emasculated? I feel that for you.
Nobody is perfect. She is only the love of your life *so far*. The notion that “I’ll never love like this again” is bullshit. This isn’t a rom com…the average person goes through this 6-7 times in a lifetime. You’ll be good–just don’t overreact to your feelings. Allow yourself to grieve and stay no contact.
It feels as though you will; but please know that you won’t always miss her. She has gifted you the opportunity to find someone better. I don’t mean just better for you. I mean objectively better. No matter how great she was, your next real love – maybe not your next date or your next lover; but your next love – will be someone better. Don’t add her back; don’t follow her; don’t inquire about her. Your future is endlessly better and more in reach than your past; go to it
She’s not perfect, she showed you who she is. Half your life went empty, so you need to start to fill it with other things, like reading, watching movies, hobbies, friends. Slowly you get better and free of her. But main thing you need to do is respect yourself.
O/p: “She was perfect”
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Narrator: she was not.
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No-one is perfect. Nice people don’t taunt their ex with a pic of them with a new squeeze. That’s just cruel.
Reading between the lines, she wants a clean break with no regular snapchatting, but can’t communicate it well, so does this. She does not want you back. Strop trying.
When someone breaks up with a person so that they can be happy etc etc it’s generally a euphemism for finding someone a bit needy. Does that fit? the endless trying to get her back has caused this, even if it is shitty behaviour.
Move on.
When she told you that she wanted you to find yourself and be happy, she was already screwing the other dude.
She was perfect? WTF? screwing other dude, snaps of them snuggling? When she told you she doesn’t want to lead you on and she is with someone else…believe her. It’s a good thing you will never see her again. If she ever comes crawling back…remember all the pain and hurt she has caused you and tell her to F the F right off, and you have moved on.
You need help? No you need to move on with your life…without her.
Sorry bro, I’m rooting for you
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