For the past year, we have been going to an intense college course to transition us from our current career into a new one. We been talking since May and have been enjoying each other company.
However, the past few weeks, we have hit a few speed bumps due to burn out and stress since we are both working full time and doing an intense course. At first, I became negative about everything which resulted in us having a big argument. We nearly ended then but we were able to have a discussion and move forward. I have been much more aware of my thoughts and feelings and ensuring it does lash out.
Lately, she has been very distant for the past few weeks which I assumed was because she was busy. But this week, she admitted she has been distant because of personal reasons that she is uncomfortable sharing with me. She is aware that she is self sabotaging by refusing to let me in.
We had a discussion after she expressed her thoughts. I tried my best to be supportive, reassuring, and caring. But everything I do, it makes her think of her past relationships/experiences. She had a rough break up last year where she found out her ex was cheating on her.
She explained that situation ruined her. And she is not fully healed from it. I have encouraged her to look for help because she doesn’t know how to fix her issue. At the end, she states she isn’t ready for a relationship but still cares for me.
We will still be seeing each other for the next couple of weeks and majority of the weeks are all testing which adds onto her stress level.
Part of me want to help her but I know there isn’t anything I can do if she doesn’t look for help. Part of me want to give her space and let her think things through. And another part of me want to just let it go.
I guess, what I am asking is, what can/should si do to help her during this stressful time?
TLDR: Girl I have been dating for a few months is self sabotaging the relationship due to stress level and past relationships. Looking for advice on what I can do to support.