College freshman here. I literally do not have any friends, and it gets to me. It’s seven weeks into the semester and literally everybody else has friends. Meanwhile, I can’t even WALK anywhere on campus without reminding myself that I’m different and I have no friends and I’ll NEVER have friends and I don’t deserve friends. Like, those are the types of thoughts that occupy my head every time I’m not actively doing something. I’ve never really been depressed, but man.
It’s not like I spend all my time in my dorm, either. I’m usually doing schoolwork until the afternoon (in class or at the library) and then I go to my dorm to enjoy the few hours of freetime I have before I go to sleep and then have to start the whole process again. I’ve tried joining a few clubs but they didn’t really host socials and weren’t really clubs that held group events where you could meet each other so I stopped going to those. There’s other clubs that seemed interesting to me that I can’t go to because of commitments in the afternoon, or it’s so late in the semester that I literally can’t join. I’d LOVE to pick up a sport or something but I’ve always been terrible athletically (and very weak and thin, no matter how fucking much I eat). My roommate is always studying in the dorm so he can leave every weekend to bike (he’s not really interested in talking to me anyways. I’ve initiated literally every conversation I’ve had with the guy). It’s too late in the semester to start randomly talking to people in my classes. I don’t know what else to do except wait until next semester for something to change.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation and they’ve gotten out of it? How?? Obviously I KNOW that to interact with people you have to talk to people, and I know what everyone says about starting conversation etc, but like?? It’s so weird to approach people randomly and say shit and they’ll just think you’re weird for it? (Source: the fact that campus isn’t filled with people randomly approaching other people while they’re trying to get to class) And obviously most people connect using snapchat, but you sort of need to have friends first to have a profile there that doesn’t make you seem like a complete loser (i am but) ???
I’m just so lonely. Like. I’ve always been used to it even though I had friends in high school, but dude. It bothers me so much these days. And I’m scared that one day I’ll be super old and full of regret. And I’m doing okay in classes now but I know that I can’t do this once classes are even more difficult and I have literally nobody on campus to hang out with or do things with. how do i get out of this
2 comments
I know how you feel, I was in the same position for a long time, generally in class, at group activities, work and similar events people will be much more open to conversation than when they are just hurrying from one place to the other. Also, asking them about their hobbys and interests and showing that you are interested in talking to them about it will almost always result in an open conversation. I would also suggest thinking of things you’re interested in that you want to talk about, i’ve had the best luck if there is a healthy balance of topics from both people. The rest from there is really just practice, you learn from experience how to treat different kinds of people, but open-mindedness and being accepting have helped me out a lot. Really hope you can lift yourself out of this, lonelyness really sucks.
Figure out a way where you see the same people over and over again. You glossed over groups, hobbies and sports. That’s your answer.
Once you join these groups, be active, get involved, etc