Posted about this kind of thing before but I gotta vent again.
I am getting fucking tired of feeling like shit about sex. My wife and I are amazing together and I think I’m a fantastic husband but holy fuck have I been dropping the ball in the bedroom.
I don’t know what’s happened to me. For years my wife and I have enjoyed the best sex you could picture; passionate, long, multiple orgasms from both parties, but recently I have fallen apart. I don’t know if I’m gonna give a mediocre performance, fail to get hard, or get off in 2.5 seconds anymore. Nothing has changed in our marriage. Our habits have remained consistent, we are madly in love with each other, and we keep being “up for it” whenever we can. For the life of me now though I feel like I just can’t get in a rhythm with my wife sexually. Furthermore, and more worryingly, I can tell she’s getting tired of such a fundamental pillar of our marriage leading to nothing but frustration.
My wife is amazing and all I want is just consistent, great sex like we’ve always had. I feel like I’m better off to just be her friend and go join a monastery.
28 comments
Talk to your doctor.
Low T will do this
Relax. When you come too soon or can’t get hard, focus on her orgasm. You can play sexually with lots of different techniques than PIV. Just enjoy the sensuality of each other’s bodies.
I got them pills, you probably need to learn what’s satisfying your wife needs open minded ..
Great sex isn’t about a hard penis, it’s about two people who are passionate about each other. Learn how to become a master of the mouth, fingers, and toys.
You aren’t defined by your erection.
Also… blue pills.
Get a doctor, do specific excercises & yoga & meditation, prepare a specific diet plan and follow it.. and till you recover use sex toys to setisfy your wife.
Godsdamnnit why are guys so resistant to seeing a doctor?
My dude, go see one. Rule out any obvious medical causes – it’s like taking your car to a mechanic when it starts running a little rough.
If it’s not medical, then start exploring other possible causes, but if this is a new issue or relatively recent, getting checked out by a doctor is your best first option.
Rodrigo? Is that you?
I’m kidding but wow this is too familiar
My husband and I tired polyamory which mostly has worked except we (obviously) haven’t been dating outside our marriage during covid. At times I still get bummed when I can’t get him off but he’s always very attentive to my needs so as long as I trust him when he says he’s happy/satisfied then what else can I do?
Same boat here. My wife is self conscience about her self so isn’t open to anything sexually except for PIV. It’s really boring. BUT for a long time I was fine and then just like you, masterbating is fine but PIV, heck I never knew what would happen and it’s so stressful and my wife was equally frustrated. Couldn’t offer up much else because she doesn’t want or like foreplay reslly. So….🤷♂️
But lately it’s been fine WRT my performance issues so I hope you can solve your issue. I didn’t do anything different, it just went back to normal
What’s that like… man. Better to have loved and lost….
I would still have your hormones checked. There’s more than just low t that could be causing this.
Stop masturbating and porn if you didn’t already. It can be a game changer
When this happens i go running. I think when im out of shape my little bro is less reliable
Sex isn’t a performance. Kill that thought before it kills your sex life. Sex is to be enjoyed. Do it only when you’re horny, not when you’re not.
And stop watching porn if you have started or are currently. It causes the symptoms you’ve described
Get a full hormonal blood panel. Trt clinics are pretty cheap. $100 to $400 for top of the line labs. If not try 2.5mg daily cialis. Tell the doctor your issues and if you notice they aren’t receptive to prescribing it tell them you notice you are getting up to pee at night more. Cialis is suppose to help with your prostate health.
So, years ago I read something about how since the penis is so vascular (full of blood vessels and blood) it’s like the canary in the goldmine of bigger heart health issues.
You definitely need to get your health checked. Lots of things to check listed here. You’re rightfully upset about how whatever this is is affecting your life and marriage and mental state. However, what if going to the doctor for this ends up saving your life?
Even as fit as you are, there are heart issues you might have. As an example, a friend’s dad in high school decided to be super health because his dad had died in his mid-40s from a heart attack. The dude was super fit, ate right, mostly avoided red meat, etc… He died of a sudden heart attack in his mid 40s. Not saying you definitely have a heart problem, but you have symptoms that could be the first signs of so many different issues listed already in this thread, why not make sure you are okay? And, then if something is found and treated, wouldn’t it be great if you also get to fix this bedroom issue you’re having as well as improve your health?!
Toys are your friend. Find out which toys reliably get her off.
Yeah
Sounds like it was amazing!!! Im jealous!
Go to doc sounds medical
Make sure you’re sleeping enough
Make sure you’re eating well. Not garbage.
Get your testosterone checked. If it’s low, replace it.
Yeah I dont think monasteries teach how to have great sex. In fact theyll help you become a virgin again. But thats not what you wanted yeah?
Try sex therapy maybe?
Check your T levels!
Have you looked into Tantra?
Preworkout made my husband’s dick unpredictable, just throwing it out there. I don’t know the name of it but the kind that makes you feel a bit tingly all over.
I’d advise no fap in case you’re a bit desensitized. There are toys, oral, other ways of being intimate in the mean time.
Definitely get blood work done as well.
Kim Anami, which i recommend you looking into, says heart issues start at the cock. But really, check her out. Her vids may help.
If you have a good erection in the morning sometimes then this is all in your head. Something happened once and it sent you in a mental cycle. Performance anxiety can happen to us all. If you never have good erections, your T may be low or it could be another health issue.
Go to the doctor to rule out medical issues as the cause before you end up in the vicious cycle loop of performance anxiety where it becomes a mental block that you have to work through as well.
The fact that you are even worried about it shows how much you care! My husband is going through this and won’t even talk about it. But off topic, does your wife know you post nudes of her on reddit?
Hit the gym!
How old are you? Age may be a factor. At 40 and older, our bodies begin to change as a result of losing about 1% of our testosterone level each year. At 50 years of age, our prostates begin to grow spontaneously without explanation.
Meanwhile our bodies are going through these changes, we may become challenged to perform like we did prior to this new period of our lives. See a urologist and tell them what you are experiencing. They will know what to do from there.