Hello stranger, sit and listen to my tale, for it contains a valuable lesson.
When someone you’re talking to says they’re hesitate to get in a relationship with you because they know or are scared they’ll end up hurting you, don’t be a idiot like me and blindly continue to pursue. They know themselves more than anyone else and so they’re warning you for a reason.
I (20M) met this awesome girl (23F), we hit it off and it was all just so great, I guess people use the term “honeymoon phase”, we dated and eventually had the talk of where we’re going with the relationship and at first she sad she really liked me but that she’s not sure because she’s afraid of hurting me like her past two. That shouldve been the red flag BUT my dumbass was blinded by love and instead I comforted her, told that imma be there for her and told her things will be different this time.
BOI WAS I WRONG. We eventually became an official couple and things were still going great but as time went on she started to get more and more distant, I tried everything I could to try and understand her and tried talking to her about her issues but she’d never fully open up…there were a lot of petty arguments and I’ll admit that I was no Saint either, but a lot of thr petty shit I did was to get her attention and eventually Id always be the one to try and mend things.
80% of the time I’d be apologizing to her and I kept trying my Damn hardest to be patient and understand what she was going through in her head, and everytime we’d talk things out, shit would be good for like a week or two but she’ll just revert back to her old ways and start ignoring my texts, being distant and she completely stopped all physical contact at some point.
I realized that our relationship was unrecognizable, toxic and I was tired of having the same talk every few weeks….and eventually she broke up with me.
So now she’s out there acting like we never happened and giving me a smile and a wave acting like every thing is great while Im the one stuck with these emotions, wallowing in my own sorrow. Constantly regreting certain actions and wondering what I couldve done better and how did I let this fall apart, why wasn’t I enough?? Why does she try to act like we’re all good and like we’re friends and im just all around just feeling heartbroken.
I’m slowly starting realize that she did indeed warn me, I just chose to ignore it. I’m taking it day by day and slowly picking myself back up.
TL:DR: girl warned me she’d end up hurting me if we dated…and she did.
16 comments
Damn straight. I say this all the time to people but no one listens to me. I’m glad you learned the lesson instead of never learning it at all.
And never try to save somebody. Nobody likes Captain Save-a-hoe. Good on you for learning at the beginning of your 20s
Valuable lesson to learn, also yo shouldn’t try to convince anyone to love you.
I dated a guy for a few weeks that said to me “I will kill you” as a joke several times and laughed.
Yup ran fast
There’s this girl that seemingly likes me a lot (35f) , and she jokes about marriage, but she has joked multiple times calling me her future ex-husband.
She does have a funny personality, but I always found that a little offputting that it was even in her mind to say that repeatedly. Now I’m kind of turned off from pursuing anything further
Is that silly?
Yep. Happened to me.
The TL:DR goes at the top…
Been through this bud. Don’t regret shit! Life lesson learned that is all.
I can 100% agree on this, i was in the exact same place as you. I met a girl and it started well, then at some point she said that she might hurt me we if we continue, like you i was too blinded by love and didnt believe it. Fast forward 9 months and im never been this broken by any relationship, i was the one apologizing 80% the time for things i didnt even do
I once had a girl I asked out tell me she is not a good girlfriend. Can confirm, she was correct
My story is the exact same. Going through it with you.
Oh believe me. If someone says on there profile that they are “crazy” or call themselves a bitch or says “you probably can’t handle me” it’s automatic nope. Handle your damn self. We are adults
So what exactly did she do ?
You put her on a pedestal like a simp
I’m reading these comments, happy and sad knowing that I did the right thing by not continuing to pursue him after he said this to me
Ah this is sad. I’ve been her. Really emotionally unavailable and slow to open up – typically guys will think they’re being messed with and will start doing petty shit just to get attention. And that makes us shit down.
Most likely she has trauma that is huge and hard to explain. Acting the way you did showed her that you actually wouldn’t understand where she was coming from, and that she couldn’t trust you as a confidant. I know it sounds harsh but every time I saw a guy start being petty because I was slow to open up I knew it was over. I would think to myself “he’s not mature enough to understand the complex trauma’s I’ve been through or even to respect that it will take me a long time to open up”.