I (F27) am pretty open minded overall when it comes to relationships. One of the things I told my current boyfriend (M54) is that I don’t mind him sleeping around, just as long as it isn’t with women I know. However, there was this one person in particular that we had threesome with about 4 or 5 months ago and it was terrible. I ended up crying while he had sex with her. They didn’t even notice me upset. It made very insecure and was just horrible all around. (To clarify, I have had threesomes with previous boyfriends with no problem, but I ask for certain rules to be followed in a threesome that my current boyfriend did not…).
After this threesome, I told him I never wanted to try again with this girl and told him I was not comfortable with him sleeping with her again. I sort of asked through the summer if he was sleeping with her and told him I was not fine with him talking to her, etc. He reassured me he wasn’t and I believed him.
Within this past month, I heard from her ex that he actually had sex with her on multiple occasions in the past few months. This was so upsetting for me—I have been crying myself to sleep every night and just have been incredibly distraught. So I finally confronted him about it and pretended I knew it was 100% true, and he admitted to me that he did it.
I was shocked, to say the least I am so hurt and I can’t stop crying. I just don’t understand. I told him he can sleep with other women, but I said not her specifically. Yet he did. I asked him if he thought I wouldn’t be hurt, and he said yeah he didn’t think it was a huge deal. I let him know that is, that it broke my heart. He apologized. Reassured me… but I just don’t believe him at all. I don’t know.
I guess I’m wondering is it possible to move on from this? I’ve never been lied to like this before. I’m so angry at him. He was complaining I’m not like I was before. I’m incredibly caring and giving toward the person I love… but he hurt me so much. They both did. I just want to know if it is possible to move on from this and how..
4 comments
Why are you with a old man 👴? You are so dumb
You should breakup. He lied to you for months and downplayed your feelings. You can’t force people to care about you, and he clearly doesn’t care about you. You need to move on.
The breakup will hurt, but a life filled with lies, betrayal, and disappointment hurts so much worse.
He’s broken your trust and no matter what he says, he will keep sleeping with this woman. Your instincts were right when he ignored you during the threesome so let him be with her. You can do so much better than him.
He could be your father and he didn’t respect a clear boundary you set… It doesn’t seem like a great relationship to me.