I (19f) have never done anal until very recently. I tried it with a guy I trust and tried to do everything right. Like using a lot of lube and reapplying every so often, going slow and trying to relax as much as I can.
Im kind of having mixed feelings about it. It was a little painful but weirdly good and I did end up having an orgasm, I don’t know how. I don’t know how to explain it exactly, its like the pain was a part of the pleasure. Is that a normal thing? Im a bit worried about it and don’t know how to feel.
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Sounds very normal.
This is why I always go with “try anything twice” because the first time may be confusing.
As a guy who is into anal, you describe what many woman described to me after their first time. For some woman that can be part of the arousal, that feeling pain can be pleasurable.
I think over the long term, this should go away, as you will be able to stretch more, relax more and there shouldn’t be any pain. So you should listen to your body carefully, if you have any blood or tissue damage, go slower and prepare better. Even stop for a while. You don’t want an anal fissure, even tho that is unlikely with proper prep.
But one advise in general: don’t compare yourself when it comes to sex, ever. If you like sucking dick or vagina, if you like anal or rough sex, if you only want it gentle and cuddling, if you dislike some positions or not, if you want to swallow or not:
Do what feels right to YOU and no one else. It’s you having sex there, no one is watching you. If your partner ever attempts to pressure you into anything because it’s “what others girls like” tell him/her to fuck off.
You don’t go into a restaurant and order something that you absolutely hate just because everyone else seems to order it. You go for what you like.
Ofc there are deeper things like submission and degradation, where some people like things just because they get turned on on how the other gets turned on. I had a girl that never really had strong feelings about anal, but after she met me and how it made me very aroused, she was enjoying it quite more than she expected because she liked how passionate it made me and the experience I wanted to give to her.
If pain was part of the pleasure, it could also mean you’re a bit masochistic. That means you can still have analsex safely (without any pain and with good preparation) and add other pain elements to the sex like spanking, pinching your nipples etc.
So I guess the bottom line: listen to your body, do what makes you feel good.
Masochist here. That’s part of the reason I enjoyed the first time so much was the pain and pleasure element. You could have discovered Two new things about yourself through this experience. Anal orgasms happen for me because it reaches the back legs of my clitoris and I always orgasm from it unlike piv. The first time was just like you describe. anal doesn’t hurt me anymore but I get my pain kicks in other ways so it may be worth exploring that some more, absolutely nothing wrong with it. I’m glad you had a great experience! Don’t stress!
That’s exactly the feeling I get with anal and also fisting and that’s why I like it. I also felt a bit weird about it at first but the weirdness went away after a few times.
So to be clear. Anal doesn’t have to hurt at all. If you choose to keep doing it you’ll likely learn to relax more and it shouldn’t cause any pain.
Regardless it’s not that weird to enjoy some mild pain in sex. It’s why people like things like spanking etc.
When you’re turned on the two signals kinda mix a bit for many and pain can become fun.
It’s definitely not for everyone.
Trying it again solo might also help you sort through your feelings towards it.
Yes the pain can be part of the pleasure. There’s a difference between pain and PAIN.. you know What I mean. If you orgasmed too I would say that’s a success for sure. Maybe try it again then you will know for sure how you really feel about it.
If you’re interested in exploring further, the pain goes away as you become more experienced with it, and the pleasure intensifies.
Perfectly normal. Anal gives great orgasms for a lot of women.
Try it again 🙂
Some people get off on some pain, perhaps you are one of them.
Everyone is different. My ex wife would cum harder than with oral or vaginal when we did anal. She loved anal. She begged for anal. I gave her anal so much that I became curious about it and ended up acknowledging being bisexual!
In my opinion, there is a big difference between “pain” and that “stretched” feeling.
When a lot of people say anal (or anything) hurt, they really do mean like oh my god stop this is searing pain that is making me want to cry and retract.
AS a guy who is into anal, I enjoy the slight pressure that stretching causes. I would never say it is “pain” because believe me I have gotten to rough with myself and been like holy shit that hurt. But, when done properly the pressure and stretch can be quite arousing and add a slight edge to the pleasure.
Even with fingering, my wife will often ask for more fingers in her vagina and often says how that initial discomfort is not painful but more like being aware you are being stretched and that can again add that edge to the pleasure.
Even the day after a good anal or vaginal session with lots of stretching, the next day there might be slight awareness that yeah something really good happened yesterday.