I (F30) have been talking with this guy (M30) for the past few days. We matched on a dating app. He seems nice, kind, considerate. He sends me goodnight/goodmorning texts, asks me about my day but I don’t find he’s very good at conversation. I try to banter and joke around but it seems to me that he’s always so serious, lowkey low effort and really can’t seem to be able to get back at me with the same energy and humour. He asked me out but I just lack the interest to say an enthusiastic yes but at the same time want to give him a chance because I’m thinking maybe he could be different in person and we could just click.
Would you go out with someone even if there wasn’t as much chemistry as you would hope? For me, I feel like I need that kind of chemistry and affinity before meeting because I’ve just been so disappointed with the last few dates I had I really don’t want to go out with him and feel like I have to brace for impact.
Any insight appreciated.
4 comments
There’s always a chance you’ll click in person. I’m terrible at texting when I don’t know someone well. I also personally put zero pressure on a first date, it doesn’t mean anything to me except let’s meet and see if we even get along. Though I’d be a little weirded out by goodnight/good morning texts when you haven’t met in person. But if you’re into it, good for you
No
I’d say go on the date with him, but keep it casual. Maybe coffee or tacos type of thing. Personally, if I don’t know someone very well, I’m terrible at texting with them. You might meet in person and click instantly in which case I bet his communication with you will improve.
The good morning texts are a little weird considering you’ve never met and only just began talking, but I’m sure that’s just him expressing interest in hopes of meeting you in person.
How can you know if there’s chemistry if you’re never met him? Just get coffee or dessert and feel it out a little bit. You’re not hurting anyone by seeing him (unless he’s socially or emotionally damages, and that’s literally not your problem), but you might be missing out on an opportunity if you don’t!
As long as you feel reasonably safe seeing him (i.e., he doesn’t give you the creeps), just try it out. For practice and fun.