Me and my GF had for a few months access to eachother’s socials, but after a while I thought it’s kinda childish and stopped.
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What are your thougths?
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EDIT: I have to add this, because it’s faster than replying to each comment with the same statement:
We both initially agreed to have access to our socials, but we mutually came to an agreement that we trust eachother enough to not have to go though eachother’s socials.
This is why we came to the conclusion that we can share our credentials, but we will never have to check, because we trust eachother. Another aspect of sharing the credentials was because I work in IT and I can safely store complicated passwords, and she doesn’t have to remember them or keep then in her notes (which is very unsafe)
23 comments
I value my privacy.
It kind of reeks of desperation, control, and jealousy in my opinion.
I’m sure some couples that share don’t have those problems, but I’ll bet for most it comes from a place of distrust.
Not interested in reading anything my wife has or says. I have her pin for her phone, I could, just zero interest.
I think that you should be able to look through each other’s phones and social media. But you shouldn’t NEED to.
I have nothing to hide so I wouldn’t mind giving access if it were something out of curiosity but I wouldn’t be happy if it were a lack of trust thing.
My boss was talking to us all one day about trust with our clients. He made a great allegory out of it that made a few people in the room squirm. He asked the rhetorical question: “If your spouse asks for your phone real quick to make a phone call or text to someone, do you hesitate?” It also elicited a few laughs. namely, me.
We talk differently around different people plus we all need to vent or purge headaches and emotions.
I understand why somebody would want privacy and their own space without the other person needing to worry.
Hell naw bitch. Ever heard of boundaries?
My girlfriend and I know each other’s passwords (because we’ve made no attempt to conceal them from each other whatsoever) and can use each others devices.
That said, we never abuse that level of openness to snoop. I don’t pick up her phone and scour her Instagram and she doesn’t go through my computer digging for incriminating evidence. I think in 16 years together I could count on one hand (and still have fingers left over) the amount of times we’ve **asked** the other to show us something in particular due to momentary insecurity.
So yeah, we have access to each other’s shit. But we don’t exploit it and we trust each other not to abuse that level of openness.
Married 25 years. We can access each other’s devices if we need to do so. If she needs to check up on me or vice versa then we need to have a discussion.
I think it indicates a fundamental lack of trust in your partner. Let’s face it, what having access to social media really means is reading through one another’s messages to ensure no one is up to any funny business. It also means you have no privacy anymore. I view it as a way for a relationship to go downhill real fast.
So I share Facebook with my husband and I get shit about it all the time “who cheated, etc.” No one cheated .I’ll tell you why we share in our situation. I had my own Facebook and I used to get shitty messages from men, dick pics and even a man who messaged saying “Have you ever been raped? Would you like to be? ” My Husband never uses Facebook and 90% of our friends are the same . We’ve been together 30yrs . So we created a joint account and magically nobody sends me shitty messages anymore . Now I’m older now so I probably wouldn’t get them now anyways but I was done dealing with that shit . I know a lot of Military Couples who share for various reasons . I don’t have any other Social Media besides Reddit which is all mine but I had to turn off Chat here too because of Creeps . I think it’s a very personal choice . I have nothing to hide so I hide nothing.
Hard pass. I don’t want to know what dumb shit she likes on pinterest. And I doubt she wants to see what I view either.
Yeah openness is good in my opinion, should be nothing to hide. But there still needs to be trust there. My wife and I use each other’s phones all the time but we don’t log into each other’s social profiles.
My wife and I are open books at any point in time I can look at her stuff and she can look at mine.
I’m not violating my own god given right to privacy and I have no interest in violating hers either
We weren’t sharing for most of our relationship and marriage but then we told our passwords for no particular reason. I feel good about having access to each other’s phone. Never have I actually checked, nor did he. But having categorically restricted access to your partners social life is kinda SUS. If we trust each other, there shouldn’t be any blockers in giving access. If access is denied when wanted, it will create insecurity and will be suspect
Nah, it’s not needed.
I am going to have so much fun using her account to send random people MLM bullshit, because I’m an awful person.
Or spam memes. For funsies.
I’m not okay sharing passwords but I don’t care if an SO goes through the limited social media on my phone. I get the curiosity. If it was habitual or obsessive I’d get concerned. If it was like “hehe what’s on here”, then sure, knock yourself out.
I have zero interest in having access to my GF’s social media or her email, and she feels very much the same about me. If you find yourself wanting access to your GF’s private emails and social media accounts, then just admit that your relationship has gone sideways and get out before it gets ugly.
You shouldn’t need to if you have trust
Never come up for me. We know some of each others passwords, but we have enough trust in each other that it is not necessary. Also, she would kick my ass if I did something wrong.