I discovered that I really like when my gf resists me in bed(it’s all consensual, she likes it even more than I do and does all those things intentionally). It turns me on like nothing else when she tries to resist me, tells me that she doesn’t want it and I just overpower her and do as I please. But I’m kinda disturbed because it looks rapey af, but this always ends up with absolutely mind-blowing sex, but still, it sometimes weirds me out
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Just make sure you have a safe word in place for the times that she actually isn’t interested.
It’s perfectly okay to engage in CNC, but it needs to happen responsibly. Too many things can go wrong.
A safe word (and possibly a safe action), a lot of trust, and a discussion about limits beforehand are all necessary to responsibly engage in CNC.
As someone who has spent 20 years active in the bdsmic community it’s not about the actions it’s about the motivations behind them and the results.
It took me a long time to be comfortable even being called Daddy let alone feeling my cock it hard when somebody was suffering.
So what you need to look at is do you want to actually rape and make your girlfriend do things that she will actually experience as rape?
Do you want her traumatized or do you want her wet and eager?
If next week, if you’re not there and she’s busy masturbating thinking about the experiences you gave her that’s a good thing. If the next day there’s a spring in her step and she’s smiling thinking about the night before that’s a good thing.
If your actions, in and out of the bedroom are part of what makes her thrive then it’s a good thing.
But if not, then yes you genuinely need to look at your oxygen and your motivations and the effects are having on your partner.
Consensual nonconsent is perfectly fine. If she’s enjoying it too, there is no issue here. MANY MANY women enjoy consensual nonconsent.
Set up a safe word or gesture, respect those boundaries. And after sex, make sure that you do aftercare – you snuggle, reaffirm your love, etc.
To add to other comments, watch out for noise and neighbours!!!
there has actually been cases of neighbours hearing and calling the police who come bust down the door and drag the guy out.
The wife says it was consent but obviously a partner in fear of abuse cannot be relied upon. So the guy gets interrogated and they search the house etc etc.
I think the last one I read about the couple had made a recording saying this is what is going to happen and it’s all safe. That’s how they got off.
But still it’s really embarrassing
It’s all good, sounds like you both are into it. The only thing you need to be sure of, is being able to tell the difference between play time and when she actually means no.
SAFE WORD SAFE WORD SAFE WORD. Just have a safe word. Other people have said it, but I can’t stress this enough.
Safe word is key to that situation
The key is really that it’s all consensual and you don’t have any actual intention to harm them.
So long as that remains then you’re fine.
It’s healthy BDSM play… Just get a safe word and stick to it. As long as there is no actual physical harm and it’s consensual there is no issue
No means No!!!! Except when it means yes;) … oh yessss
I’m a woman into non con, finding a relationship like yours would be great lol. As long as everything is safe and consensual, and there’s a safeword
You might just be getting turned on because it’s something new, and also because your inner narrative is that you’re a nice guy who wouldn’t ever do anything like this therefore challenging you in a way that feels good.
I like being held down and I’m a super sjw feminist liberal blah blah. Do what feels good with consent!
Echoing how important a safe word is.
I also recommend looking into aftercare
Bf and I do this. We have agreed that if I push him away hard, it’s just in the fun of the fight. But if I lightly tap him, or push him away, that means no. No doesn’t mean no, but the safe word does. I have yet to pop the safe word. He has the ability to read if I’m into it or not. Been doing this for almost a year now! Feel free to ask any questions😅
The whole point of consensual non-consent is that it’s hot to some people to feel like they’re being forced/overpowered and inversely for others to overpower their partner, that’s the whole concept lol. This is *nothing* like rape. So yeah it’s a very common thing to be turned on by and it’s harmless as long as it’s consensual and safe. Definitely pick a safeword and safe gesture though.
As a part of your discussion before hand ask:
“If you need to for any reason, can I trust you to use the safe word?”
My baseline is Yellow & Red
Yellow = Pull back, reassure
Red = break time and aftercare / stop for the night
I also like to be clear that using Red & Yellow are healthy and it makes me happy to hear it. It builds trust on my side as a “Dom” or “Top” to know that they aren’t into something today and they let me know. Especially when they normally like it.
It’s alright to enjoy this kind of roleplay, but you need to make sure your partner knows you need some post-coital reassurance. Aftercare isn’t just for subs. Manhandling someone you love can be disturbing and that’s alright.
I absolutely love the fight. We have a “safe” word for me to say on days I’m really not interested in sex so he knows that I’m not even into the fight that night.
Own your kinks and learn about how to do them safely and sex will only get better.
Safe word safe word safe word! And maybe suggest that she puts something on,like a special necklace, to let you know when she wants you to get rough with her?
Rapist in the making lol
Story time…
In my 20’s for a period of about 5-6 years…whatever I was putting out attracted submissives…I had no idea what a Dom was and they trained me to be a Dom…why I am stating this…
“Fight bottoms” are a thing. I didn’t get it either, but some women want to be dominated. As long as it’s all consensual and there is a safe word established…then play on playah…just be safe.
Study BDSM….don’t get into breath play until you study how to do it as safe as choking can be…same with ropes…learn to slap someone without leaving marks and learn to restrain someone without leaving marks. Most importantly…
Have ongoing talks with your sub and see how the kink evolves…sometimes they taste and don’t like it sometimes they want more. Communication is key here.
Good luck and have fun!
Its ok, you like CNC, dont let it get you off your game, just keep it in check
Based on OP’s other posts, this is concerning.
There’s nothing wrong with it if you’re practicing safely with a safe word and all.
Side note, I wonder if CNC type fetishes stem from some kind of evolutionary pressure from reproduction as a result of sexual assault. If sexual assault is a successful reproduction strategy, it might start to hardwire those kind of kinks into the brain.
By no means am I endorsing actual sexual assault, just seems like a interesting quirk that people are into it as a fantasy
How would you go about bringing this up with your partner? I fear I will be judged if I bring this up with my girlfriend but I know I like it because I’ve done it in previous flings.
don’t know if this helps (and not seeing anyone else mention it makes me wonder if it’s uncommon) but swapping roles makes this more comfortable for me (so sometimes I’m holding my partner down, but sometimes she’s dominating me). it took a little effort to accept at first, but now it’s a fun change.
I wouldn’t read too much into it. Just about anything my wife does or says during sex drives me wild. When she resists it’s super hot. Heck I even like when she looks annoyed during sex sometimes. The other day she said she was a “Good Girl” for the first time and it still drives me wild thinking about it.
Just saying you seem a little nervous this means you like rape play. It really doesn’t.
I dated a girl back in college that was absolutely terrified of the idea of being raped, but we later discovered that she had a huge CNC kink, and force-play gave her the biggest orgasms, like full on lifting me off of the bed. Just make sure the consent is there and enjoy.
I’m like your gf. In fact I can’t have an orgasm if its not consentual non-consent. Many women like this. There’s nothing bad about it as long as you both agree too and enjoy it.
Bro, I feel the exact same way. I have to have frequent conversations afterwards just to confirm that it’s still okay. We’re living in a really weird time in our culture. The “me too”movement is really popular. However, a lot of women have a low key rape fetish. There’s a silver lining, where you identify as a stud or a piece of shit who deserves to be castrated.
This is my go to for sex. As a woman I’m completely turned on by someone overpowering me. You can feel me get wetter the more I resist and the more I have to fight.
Why is everyone responding with normal sexual advice to this guys question… guys, check his other posts. This person does not seem to be in the mental state to be engaging in CNC. he needs help. Based on his fantasies this could get out of control so quickly. OP, seek help. Go to a therapist to talk about your urges. And honestly, you shouldn’t engage in anything remotely resembling non-consensual until you do.
There’s nothing wrong with cnc as long as its practised responsibly. Use a safe word, discuss boundaries beforehard, always perform aftercare and do regular check ins to make sure issues can be raised and addressed in a dedicated space.
Your.. Post history, OP.
Dude, it’s all consensual. Rape fantasies are extremely common among women, that doesn’t mean they all actually want to get raped. I really like your play and I’m going to try it with my girls.
Based on your post history you should speak to a professional therapist or something bro.
This is not a weird kink if handled well.
But your post history is what makes it concerning. I hope you are seeing a therapist and/or psychiatrist because it’s very possible it can go wrong if you’re not having your urges monitored *and* have/are taking drugs
You can use your full name as “stop”. Suddenly saying Mary Renee Smith (example, obvs) isn’t something you’d blurt out randomly..
Based on your post history you need to see a therapist ASAP