First, sorry for any grammatical mistakes, not my native language.
I, M(20) been going out with this girl (24), we’ve met from a mutual friend and it was a immediate connection, she followed me on instagram and after that I started a conversation, we started talking everyday and after a week we went out, I really liked her and asked when we could go out again, things were going great, we texted good mornings, talked about ours days, after some talk about life in general she said that she had broke from a relationship 3 months prior and she didn’t want me to create any expectations as she was still confused, but was looking forward to know me better as she “really liked going out with me”, I felt a bit disappointed but decided to be patient as she was a great person and really deserved the effort, we continued talking everyday and it really looked like she was enjoying our conversations, the problem is, I invited her out again about three times, and every time she had a different excuse, I knew she was busy lately and made every effort to match my agenda to hers, it really showed that she wasn’t interested in going out, I didn’t want to be clingy and stopped texting to see what happens, she still talked and made the effort, but she never flirted with me, It looks to me that she is traumatized from her past experiences and is trying to protect herself, as I said, I want to show her that I can be better, but at the same time I don’t want to be stubborn, we haven’t seen each other for almost three weeks and I’m starting to give up, any advise is appreciated
2 comments
Why don’t you try just being her friend without expecting anything in return?
If you can’t do that then let her go. She’s been up front with you about not wanting to date but you’re still trying, so she’s not leading you on. She just wants to talk.
I’d move on OP. I would never stay friends with someone I have feelings for, who rejected me. It will just end up in pain.
You’ll not allow yourself to see/meet other girls because you’ll hope she changes her mind, and when she inevitably goes out with other guy she’ll distance herself from you and you’ll be left jealous and hurting.
What’s the point?
A friendship where there are unrequited feelings is not equal. The other person will always have the upper hand and some degree of control over the one with feelings. I’d take some distance and try to see other women. There’s someone out there who won’t make excuses to not go out with you.