I know the answers to this question are going to be completely one sided but I really want one someone in an anonymous space to possibly help me.
My husband recently after having our daughter 2 years ago cut off his entire family, he just in the 7-8 years of us being together started to accept the horrible trauma his family put him through and still did. It was to the point they literally brainwashed him to think that’s how he was and what they were doing was perfect. Over the last two years they have made every attempt to ruin his life and blame everything on me when I didn’t even know anything of this was happening until after he told them to never speak to him again.
After the fact they were literally constantly messaging him telling him he was a horrible person(he’s not) and all of that and he started taking the anger out on me because we both had severe ppd and didn’t know how to cope. He started getting physical and heated quick in hard situations. I never was physical in return or to start but I was not perfect with a horribly collic newborn and birth trauma I was trying to make sense of.
Honestly he’s still such an amazing person, but when he gets angry(I do believe he is bipolar/split personality) it just happens so quick but not even an hour later he’s apologizing and back to the normal person I married and have been with for almost 10 years..
okay but after my novel that probably made no sense, has anyone been in this sort of situation and helped their loved one heal/get help/medicated and come out stronger on the other side???
Like I said in the beginning, I know this will all be one sided but I need real life answers because we have literally been through SOOOO much. We got together in high school and have always had such a strong love. I love him so much and he’s an amazing dad and husband. He just has a lot of demons with his family issues he’s struggling to cope with.
Let me add we got together in high school and became working adults right away so he doesn’t have friends or really anyone to talk to other than me… but for good reason it’s a touchy subject for him to talk to me about because of what they said about me and my family/daughter.
I don’t know what I’m trying to get out of this we just had a rough night and I’m looking for a glimmer of hope.
2 comments
Lots of therapy for him. Still craft an exit plan. No excuse for physicality. Be careful and good luck.
Sorry OP I can 100% understand what you’re seeking but the reality is you can’t hope your way to the outcome you want – abuse is not a relationship problem that people work through together and get stronger. At best its something that HE takes responsibility for and does the hard work to change and improve. This is not something you can medicate or love or patience your way past.
I know right now you’re probably looking for answers that mean that the person you love is the “real” husband and the abuse is some sort of exception but that’s now how it works. Mental health can do lot of things but its doesn’t make people behave *abusively.* It’s quite common for abusers to show their colours during or after a pregnancy.