25f here and extremely sad. Why does it looks like everyone cheat these days…I have never cheated, it’s a disgusting concept to me, but I may have to get used to it or stay single forever…I want to cry.

33 comments

  1. Chin up girl!

    Yeah, I do think that cheating is a bit more common these days, and there’s a lot less stigma attached to disloyal behavior. I don’t disagree with you.

    There are plenty of loyal, faithful people out there, tho! You may have to take more time finding the right person for you, and keep an open mind about ways to meet new people, but try not to get discouraged.

    Edit: gender neutral

  2. I feel like theres a whole political movement behind this idea of ONS, FWB, cheating and even polyamory/open-relationships. People are trying to break the traditional roles of relationships. For us hopeless romantics/serial monogamists who want someone for the rest of our lives, its really hard to maintain a positive outlook, ngl. I can’t swipe left fast enough on people who include this type of thing on their profile.

    I hope this whole paradigm does a 180 and people realize that the hook-up scene will leave you feeling hollow and lonelier than ever. And I hope until then, dating apps add filters so people like us don’t need to be let down every time we come across a profile we really like but instantly swipe left when we see “only looking for something casual”

  3. Stop caring what they do and you won’t care who cheats on you, yes most men cheat. Especially younger guys.
    Once you stop caring and start detaching everything in relationships becomes so much easier.
    No it’s not about finding the right guy who doesn’t cheat because you’ll never know if he will or won’t, it’s just about shifting your focus away from it.
    Never believe a man is truly loyal and never give your all is my best advice if you don’t want to keep getting hurt by it. You can never predict a person and you can never control someone not to do something

  4. 41 M. I agree with you. It’s easy for me to say, but I’m the most loyal guy on the planet. I’ve refused to cut off people who’ve done AWFUL things to me. Because I value the good things they’ve done also.

    To speak to your point, I think social media plays a role. Porn available at the click of a mouse also. Again, this might be symptomatic of social media. But I suspect it’s always been more rampant than we know. But people didn’t go through one another’s phones, track who they’re friends with on instagram, etc.

    And it’s only going to get worse. More and more people are in an open relationship. That’s just gross to me. I hope I’m wrong, but it’s only going to get worse.

  5. 29M. I have never cheated. It’s a disgusting concept to me. I’m neither going to accept it nor be single forever.

  6. What is the hurting part? Being cheated on and not knowing about it, or being cheated on and knowing about it? If it’s the latter, just stop looking so hard for clues that he is cheating on you.

  7. Oh sweetheart, it’s rare to find truly loyal people but they are out there. You can be on the look out by searching up certain personality traits/characteristics loyal people have such as conscientiousness. It’s worked out for me.

  8. You have to find someone who has good morals/ethics. I know my SO would break up with me before cheating cuz she’s a moral and ethical person. Don’t worry you’ll find someone like that eventually!

  9. It sucks and it always seems like the ones that aren’t into that sort of thing are already taken and finding anyone that isn’t is an almost impossible task.
    Then there are the ones that might be looking for someone serious but has maybe gotten screwed over so many times that they don’t think anyone is so then they play games or it never really goes anywhere

  11. Cheaters can burn in hell. I agree no one is loyal. Giving love is not worth the pain that they will cause. I will be nice and a great bf but will not love like I did in the past to my cheating asshole ex wife.

  12. The only reason cheating so apparent is because women are more sexual open these days. The only reason I say that because if you look up our laws. They were literally set and designed to protect women, to punish men if he ever sleep around. So now women are encouraged to sleep around and often the better looking male population is always going to want sleep with as many different women as possible. It’s fucks up alot women in the heads, so in return they do this to men who aren’t as good looking as those guys. These men are the one that alot average girls just “settle” because he got money and can provide. Statistically around 1/5 men in America are raising a child that not theirs and they don’t know about it. That’s actually quite a massive chuck of the population if you think about it. Alot young men who are raised by single mom see this, alot young boys going thru collage goes thru this and a lot divorce husband who lost everything but she cheat see this. When women want to have their “fun” and try settle down afterwards. Alot guys have already seen her ways and don’t want to take her seriously. There are alot pathetic as dudes on Reddit who will try to argue with me. But no where else in the world other then Europe and Western world is cheating tolerate to this degree

  13. It’s no different than it used to be. It’s just easier to catch people due to technology.

  14. You’re hanging out with the wrong people. I know no one that is non monogamist, only one that cheated (was a girl), and maybe three that hooked up in their life, and of course they have commitment issues.

  15. If everyone you’re with cheats, you might have to consider some common denominators with your partner choices, or look at how you’re conducting your relationships. It’s not a universal experience that everyone cheats.

    Note that this does not mean you are at fault, it takes emotional immaturity and frankly low morals from a partner to cheat.

  16. I feel you, I’m a lover type and love to enjoy a person to the fullest. I like romance and exclusiveness. I cherish slowness and passion of a budding serious relationship.

  17. “Loyalty” is one thing. “Cheating” is another.

    You’re right about loyalty. Very few can be said to be “ride or die”; shit gets in the way that makes people choose between one thing and another, or they just have terrible communication skills so little shit piles up over time and they just snap in the end.

    Cheating is another thing entirely. It’s the opposite of loyalty, in this context. It’s going *out of your way* to hurt the person you are with, regardless of reason (e.g. “I deserve this” is still selfish and non-empathetic towards the feelings of the other person). There’s physical cheating, and that’s obviously hurtful; but there’s also emotional cheating, and that can hurt just as bad–if not more.

    There’s no real “incline” in the stats; cheaters are just getting lazy or being foiled by their own ineptitude. Back in the day, cheaters could get away with it, like moving one state over and starting a whole-ass other family. The limited technology of the time allowed for it. These days, if anyone so much as hints as being unfaithful, there’s an array of gadgets and programs one can use to find out the liars. All that aside though, people just can’t lie well–which is both a blessing and a curse, I think.

    Just keep being a beacon of faithfulness and hope for others. Try to remember that someone might look at you as a role model.

  18. People seem to have accepted they can have a living single relationship while also fucking other people. Monogamy like everything is just a social construct

  19. I’m sorry you’re feeling down. I wanted to encourage to to consider that, for some reason, you’re unconsciously attracted to men who cheat. It’s really weird how you’d swear it’s impossible to tell when you’re first meeting and getting to know someone, but our subconscious is always at work, looking to patterns we’re not able to pick up consciously.

    I’d wager that a male figure (or several male figures) set examples for you during the course of your upbringing. Maybe they were cheaters to their counterparts, but maybe they betrayed you in some other way, maybe they just didn’t care enough and show you the love you deserve, maybee they walked out on you.

    For things like these, therapy is your best bet to growing out of this. A therapist will help you become aware of your unconscious behavior so that you can live more consciously and more deliberately. It can take a good long while in therapy to really see these kinds of things for yourself–even longer still to overcome them. I’m not trying to discourage you by telling you this. I just want to impress upon you that the sooner you begin to tackle this, the sooner you can conquer it and be free in your life.

    Edit: spelling

  20. Loyalty is looked down upon these days. The media, and social media has basically promoted the idea that there’s always someone better, there’s always better options out there.

  21. Right there with you.

    The amount of people I’ve talked too (not dated) that have found a way to justify cheating and even encouraged their own friends to do it is just… so sad.

    I even had a close friend who cheated and I called him out on it and then my other friend got mad at me and said I was killing the vibe. Like what the fuck, I’m trying to be a god damn friend, and apparently it was my fault I was telling him that cheating was wrong

  23. I don’t think I could ever cheat. The problem is when I said this , people don’t think a man is being serious. “Obviously if he could fuck dozens of women, he would cheat.”
    I seriously I doubt ever could do it. It is so wrong. I don’t think I could put that pain on a woman I love.

  24. I am loyal, but truly believe that social media has killed relationships altogether. Hence why I don’t have any. I only have myself . And my pups. But at 36 years of age and trying to find a woman that has no kids and isn’t all up on social media seems like a needle in a haystack.. so I too feel I am forever alone

  25. What makes you feel like no one is loyal?

    Do you know everyone in the world?

    You probably got this idea from reality tv, social media, or because one of your parents stepped out and destroyed your idea of love and relationships.

  26. I think the levels of people cheating is the same, we just find out about cheating more now.

  28. The reason we have this is because we have a generation of young people who have been raised to believe they are special. They are self entitled, point the finger and fail to take responsibility for their actions. They cannot communicate and have been raised with an instant gratification mindset. Everything happens instantly and online. When I have a problem in my relationship, I should just move on and look for another instead of working with what I’ve got. People are shitty.

  30. I feel the same way,
    Is it that hard of a concept to understand?

    Loyalty
    Commitment
    Trust
    Faithful

    Where did these words go when it comes to love? I’m not saying not everyone’s at fault, there’s still good people in the world, but it feels like I’m looking for a rose in a field of goldenrod.

    Best of luck to you love, may your heart and soul be at peace till you find what your looking for.

  31. I am a 16 year old girl and can promise I will never cheat. I understand loyalty in a relationship and expect the same. I will never tolerate it either. If my partner cheats on me I’m done. Trust broken, I don’t think there’s coming back from that.

  32. In the same boat. Only time will tell I guess, we just gonna live our lives on our purpose 🤷🏻‍♂️ hope the one that truly loves us comes along.

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