I’m (24m) new to online dating. My plan was to go on a few dates to get an idea of what I like in a person
3 matches are interested in meeting up. I have met 1 so far. It went well enough to lead to a second date. We plan to hang out a third time. All of this will happen before I meet anybody else.
I like spending time with this person, and we have a lot to talk about, but Im wondering what if we reach the # of dates where people start going exclusive, before Ive met with anybody else? How will I know if there’s anyone else out there I might be more interested in? Will I be with this person because they’re the one I met first?
To be clear, I do like spending time with this person. I just dont have “crushes” on people (havent since I was like 15), so its hard for me to tell if we have that special connection.
Im probably overcomplicating things, but any wisdom is appreciated!
Also Im curious, how common is the second date? Do most people decide they do/dont like a person after the first? Or do you see a few people for multiple dates, then decide who you want to be exclusive with after a month or so? I guess Im just curious how dating works in practice
3 comments
there’s no set amount to feel out someone. if y’all really feeling each other then you just keep going and going and everything else sort of blends in ya know? if you get confused as to what y’all are then honesty is the best policy. don’t be afraid to ask them if you ever get to that point. and you’ll know if you’re only interested in them. or if it’s because they’re the first you met. your mind and heart will always tell you what’s going on and the best you can do is just listen to them.
>How will I know if there’s anyone else out there I might be more interested in?
When this one fails, which it will if you’re not compatible. If it doesn’t, consider yourself lucky and enjoy it.
> how common is the second date?
In my experience, not very. Like someone wise once said: in general, you’re not gonna be compatible with 90% of all people you’re ever meet. And in my experience, that is very true. It usually takes me about 10 first dates to want a second one with someone (beyond the “it wasn’t terrible, so i wouldn’t mind it”).
>I just dont have “crushes” on people (havent since I was like 15), so its hard for me to tell if we have that special connection.
I usually start crushing on someone after like a month of dating.
I am more old fashioned. If I’m seeing someone, trying for something serious, I would not be seeing someone else in paralell. Just… doesn’t feel right, you know? Making a connection with someone while having sex with other people? How can that even happen? I’d consider anyone who does that cheater material.
So if I were you I’d just keep seeing this girl and finding out if you’re compatible enough for something serious.