So recently I was in conversation with one of my friends, and I was checking up on them seeing how they were doing and stuff and the conversation led into our friendship and how that was doing.
About 5-10 minutes into talking about one another, I called her my best friend. In response she started invalidating how I felt about her and that I cared and saying I don’t know anything about her and that she doesn’t care if shes my best friend or my friend at all.
After hearing that I felt star struck because I really didn’t believe what I just heard, I felt hurt. After me saying that she’s been saying i’ve changed and our long conversations turned into dull ones because she’s responding with “good” “no” “yeah” and when I try continuing the conversation it just doesn’t go anywhere.
I’m feeling gaslighted by my own beliefs due to me telling her she was my best friend and i’m questioning myself. Is it a good thing I told her she’s my best friend (also to mention we’re not seeing each other and she’s not invested or interested in me romantically)
Any advice would help. Thanks 🙂
3 comments
Bit of a typo in my second paragraph; she was the one saying I don’t know anything about her and that she doesn’t care if shes my friend or not
That sounds like an awful deep conversation. I think she may be afraid that you are putting too much pressure on her and she was trying to give you a reality check. Or maybe she is afraid that you are falling for her and she wants you to stay in your lane.
I personally would avoid have convos about friendship. It gives people the opportunity to check out of the friendship.
There are LEVELS to friendship – and sadly, just because you may consider this girl your bf doesn’t mean SHE feels the same or agrees. I’ve had this happen to me before…and it is awkward. Had a girl I hung with casually (aka – once in awhile). I never initiated contact, I didn’t confide in her deeply, and although I’d respond to her texts and all, it wasn’t a big deal – to Me. But to HER- it was a big deal, because I learned this girl was telling people we were “best friends”. It sucked having to let her know that she had misread MY intentions, and that although we were cool, she wasn’t my best friend.
It happens…people misread things or they get more attached then the other person. Your friends reaction was a bit odd (maybe harsh?) But I get it…she wanted to clarifying a distinction