So I recently broke up with my gf \[19\] me \[18\] it was a long distance relationship we were dating for around 4-5 months. simply put I was in love but I was not happy. I thought it was my fault but when I spoke to my best mate about it and he explained it to me it was like when your maths teacher explains a hard question and it just clicked.
so first she lied about her age instantly which is really bad for a long distance relationship as it relies on trust but I brushed it off. as she said she only said it to avoid dealing with men she said she was 28 that was before we got together but then said she was 20 we still wasn’t together but getting pretty close and then said she was 19 I was mad but ignored it.
the next thing is she lied about her body count she said it was one which I’m a virgin so even that hurt a tiny bit but not really. what hurt is that it was close to 10 this fucking hurt but I still tried to brush it off and thought I’m so happy she feels she can open up to me and does her past really matter. yea it turns out it did. because no matter how much I said it didn’t it did effect me. and when she told me it wasn’t in an apologetic manner it was just like yea I did it accept it I honestly thought it was my problem I shouldn’t be mad about this.
but then I realised I was laying down and just thought how miserable I was and decided to talk to my best mate about it the next day he gave me an honest opinion about it and it was just such a wake up call this girl doesn’t care about me at all that really hurt.
also she would bring up things like what she had done with other people in the past like the kinky weird shit. I just wanted to express how I feel thank you for reading this and would really appreciate your opinion because I feel really about it
tl;dr I broke up with my girl and just want to feel better about myself and reassured that it was the right decision as I feel like shit for it
4 comments
Don’t date online anymore. It’s almost always trouble. Catfishing, mind games, married people! No more.
Lying is always a problem and it erodes trust. In future, also specifically ask anyone you get involved with to not tell you how many people they have been with or any details of their past relationships, because now you know you will handle that info badly, so you are better off simply not having it to begin with.
Lying is a dealbreaker for me. I think the lying alone is reason enough to break up. You did the right thing.
Body counts is such an icky term and an icky thing to talk about. The older you get, your partners will have a past, and eventually, so will you. It’s ok to recognise that but talking about it is rarely beneficial to either of you. All you need to discuss is:
* Are you exclusive now?
* Are there any STDs?
* Is there anything from the past that might come up to bite either of you in the future?
If you’re a virgin and she has experience, there could well be stuff that you consider kinky and weird now, that you may feel differently about in the future, another reason why it’s best not to talk about past experiences. I would have that as a ground rule in relationships.
I agree that lying is a deal breaker. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship and one thing guaranteed to break it is lying. You did the right thing. It’s normal to feel like shit about it for a bit, but you can hold your head up because you acted in a way that keeps your dignity in tact.