I (M20) saw my girlfriend’s (F19) nude set online, should I tell her?
Hey y’all
Basically my girlfriend has a dark past. Something happened to her when she was a child (more than one occasion at different times in her life, in different places) and that coupled with her ex of 4 years breaking up with her, made her think that she was unlovable. This led her to a “dark place” or “phase” in her life wherein she turned to sleeping with different men to fill a void. She also sent several vids and pics of her to them.
I honestly do not care about her past, cause that wasn’t my girlfriend. That was just her body but it’s a totally different person now. She has started to revert to her sweet, warm and kind old self. I love her with all my heart and will do anything for her. Now, she said that she’s afraid that her family or friends may see her nudes, so i joined/paid to join some channels/groups so I can keep a radar on for her. After a few months, I finally saw her “set” being sold. I bought it cause maybe it was a “false alarm” (her face on the ad but not her in the set). But my heart sank when I saw her real name sent to me and then her pics and vids. I immediately got dressed and went to the police for help, now they referred me to a special division, and in the course of giving them information to shut down the groups and channels, but i won’t reveal her identity.
Now, this doesn’t affect me that much. Her nudes and past sex life and sex partners were a part of her life that didn’t include me. What I think about is her. That’s why though I want to show her off, I am worried about posting her pic on my social media accounts as someone might “notice” her. The thing is she is very sensitive about her past, and she is now in a VERY GOOD PLACE in her life, the last time this issue surfaced she had a total breakdown. I did vow to never lie or hide anything for her as it would fck my conscience up, and so far I haven’t. I planned on telling her this, as I thought she deserved to know, but then I remember what Kim did for Jimmy in better call saul. She knew that chuck was the one who blocked Jimmy’s job in HHM. but she didn’t tell Jimmy as it would destroy him. Just like my girl, she is happy now and has left her past behind, and now I fear that if I tell her this she’ll be devastated and send her back to a downward spiral. I know her, she won’t try to look for some legal action, so me telling her what I did anonymously won’t help. I love her so much that I’ll never lie, hide or hurt her, but I’m afraid that if I tell her what I know it’ll scar her deep. So, though telling her what I know is what i’ll usually do, should I just spare her the agony wherein she won’t or can’t do anything about it?
Sorry for the long read
TL:DR I saw my girlfriend’s nudes online, and now I don’t think I’ll tell her cause she is happy now and is trying to forget about her past, and learning about this would destroy her.
6 comments
If she asks tell her, if not don’t. There’s no reason to rehash the past as she knows those pictures exist so to bring it up seems a little incentive.
Even with DMCA take down requests there is little you can do to delete something from the internet. So I would leave it be unless asked
Dont say a thing. Accept her and love her for who she is NOW. Dont dwell on it and live a normal life. IF it comes up later because someone finds it, brush it off because “it doesnt matter to people that love you”.
I was going to recommend you to approach cyber division made for girls for this kind of cases(they don’t public identity). Boy, you did a great job, I’ll say keep loving her. Sometimes truth is more dangerous than anything, she might lose her mental strength and do something unimaginable so don’t tell anything now.
If you want to tell then wait, you must wait for right time, she’s still 19 and not enough mature so keep things hidden.
Love her, support her.. show your love to her, you’re in relationship so you guys may fight too but don’t ever lose your control.. if something happens then talk, talk things over and this is the best thing to maintain relationship.
Your wrong step might cause her death and you’ll never will be able to forgive yourself if she died by suicide.
Talk things over.. tell her that that her life is important..
Important than anything else.
And you, you must work hard. If you love your girl than become independent as soon as possible, work hard. She needs you and if you save her life I’ll be very greatfull to your humanity and your love for her.
For now.. buy her Inner Engineering course and Inner Engineering complition so that her mental strength can improve.
If she does this course it might have a powerful effect on her strength and your relationship.
You gift her choclates, clothes, bags, shoes but I’m asking you to gift something more valuable.
Please don’t give up on her.. life is hard and you understand this.
It’s painful to read this, and you’re a great boyfriend for doing what you’ve done and staying by her. I wish more stories like this would get out there though. Digital is forever and taking and sending nudes is just a recipe for disaster. The vast number of negative things that can come from nudes far outweighs the slight positives.
This is like consensual human trafficking
Personally I think she has a right to know. It would be better to learn that they’re floating around out there from you, and that action has been taken to stop it, rather than discovering it by it being sent to people she knows and then having you tell her “Yeah I knew about it but said nothing”.
The reason you two have trust between you is because she feels she can trust you. You vowed not to lie or hide anything, but now you’re on the verge of breaking that vow and setting her up to lose that trust. That would mess her up more than hearing this and having your support to get through it.