I’ve been told *severally* I talk too much. It hurts to slowly lose friends because of it, sure, but I’m afraid it might affect my business because one of my business associates just picked up on it. It’s something I do completely unconsciously and don’t notice at all until people bring it up or I’ve noticed the chat has died.
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I need help controlling this. Keeping quiet sometimes drives me nuts. Sometimes I fear if I’m quiet too much, the relationship would be strained. But talking too much isn’t doing much to help either.
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What are your suggestions? Anyone else going through something similar?
3 comments
There’s a happy medium between talking too much and total silence. Focus on not dominating the conversation because I’m sure that’s what annoys people. Practice self-control. You are making the choice to speak, so read the room. Is the person receptive to your chattiness? Some people are, others aren’t. Adjust yourself to your environment. Use good conversation skills, try to include the other person in the chat.
With a trusted friend, tell them you have issues with talking too much and practice spending time in silence with them. After you’re comfortable doing that, you can also practice having breaks and silences in your conversation after a person finishes speaking. Breaks in conversations aren’t a bad thing. If someone is silent after you’ve spoken, it means they care enough about what you said to spend time thinking about it.
It’ll take time, but being able to slow down and not having everything that you’re wanting to say be said are great skills in conversation. Because talking to people isn’t just about you. Give room for yourself and others to breathe.
You need to feel the conversation. Short responses? Talking too much. Also, ask questions more than you’re talking about yourself.