Little back ground, there is a girl I’ve known for a couple of years and and I have had feelings for a while and have pursued with partial success. But the other day we were talking and came to find out that there had been a large miscommunication for a while. How we both understood dates and dating.
For me dates are meet ups with someone with the intent of dating and for her, come to find out, dates were just what it was called when the opposite sex hung out. This lead into a talk on dating, where I said my view on the relationship is friendship, dating, lovers pretty much. But come to find out for her dating is only done when there is mutual love. So there really isn’t like a dating to devolp feeling stage.
Honestly this got me curious, cause I’m a late bloomer (25m) when it comes to wanting to be in relationships, which tends to be the norm on dating ideology? Or is there even more variations in that?
1 comment
>my view on the relationship is friendship, dating, lovers
Going through friendship into romance is a bad way to look at things and often based in insecurity, fear of rejection, low self esteem, etc. You basically need to be VERY VERY VERY sure someone thinks of you as a decent person (be friends with you) before you can even entertain the though to open up to them about your romantic interest.
That’s not how it works for people who are more confident. Friendship is friendship. If there was more interest in the other person, it would have gone right to romance. Friendship is interest in someone you are NOT romantically interested. What you probably think is that because you have romantic feelings first, but want to go through friendship as a safety mechanism, that the other person is doing it just as you do. But they are not. They don’t and will never regard you as a romantic interest and you are wasting your time with friendship.