I broke up with baby momma about 4 months ago from a 7-8 year relationship. We have a son who is 3 years in 2 months and she won’t let me see him. She won’t answer me or my parents calls. Trying to be a present father and not fond of Court. Never been in a court room, any suggestions?

21 comments

  1. Contact a lawyer who will send her a letter. It should set her strait and prevent her from putting you in the absent father category (which could be part of her plan). Should only cost you a couple of hundred to do this.

  2. This sounds like a thread for /r/legaladvice even if you’re not fond of it, it may be your own avenue.

  3. You have to go to court…sorry. If visitation/ custody is not court mandated, she can do whatever the hell she wants. This also means that the court can mandate financial support on your part (which I hope you are already doing).

  7. Yeah, involve the courts. What makes you think, by her behavior she will suddenly change her mind?

    You got 18 years of this. Get your rights in writing.

  8. Legal route is the most effective. But for me that meant hiring a lawyer and negotiating with her lawyer. We never went to court, and usually you don’t have to if they know they’re fighting a battle that wouldn’t win in court. Where are you located? Laws vary quite a bit. Also, whether you were married, name on birth certificate are important details.

  9. What are you less fond of, going to court or never seeing your kid again?

    There’s your answer.

  10. No one is fond of court, including her. Spend the money, get an attorney, do right by your child.

  11. Take her to court. I bet she would take you to court in a NY minute if you stopped paying child support.

  12. Short of a court order for visitation there’s nothing you can do. If you try to force your way into her place, even to see your own kid, she has grounds to get a court order that bars you from seeing the kid. So be smart.

  13. I wouldn’t like it any more than you seem to, but the courts are the clear option in a civil society. In my case, if I had the means to do so, I’d go straight for the nuclear option and sue for sole custody.

  14. U dont got a lawyer ur fucked. The courts are extremely sexist against men. She can and will say the most outrages lies to keep in control. Outside of court one call to the cops and you will get arrested without a custody agreement.

  15. Get a lawyer. Threaten to come after the kid. Tell her she’s about to spend thousands of dollars on a lawsuit and all she has to do is not be a cunt

  16. I would ask why she’s treating you like this, but ultimately doesn’t matter

    If you have a claim to your kid, use the court system to establish it

  19. Record everything, document every obstruction, get an attorney, get some coaching to handle court because they will not be kind most of the time.

    Get a better living space so you can have the kid justifiably.

    But yes, maybe get a better job because when and if (it’s almost definitely) they put you on child support they will take all they can irrespective of your own living standards, they are not always going to reduce payments if you lose your job or get a lower paying one (they seriously don’t care).

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