I was seeing someone for 4ish months and we never made it official, though we were exclusive. We didn’t end well (we ended over a short phone call where I gave him an ultimatum and he said no to it). We ended about 3 months ago, and haven’t talked since.

I started seeing someone 3 days after we ended and since we have mutual friends, though I deleted him off all social media, I wouldn’t be surprised if he heard through the grapevine. However, before we ended things, I left a shirt at his place by accident. It wasn’t a shirt that was too expensive (maybe 20 bucks?), but it was cute and I’ve wanted it back for a while.

We haven’t talked since the phone call and I’m in a relationship now (though it’s incredibly rocky). How do I ask for it back? Do I text/re-friend on IG and then DM/ask through our mutual friends?

Tl;dr: I want a shirt back that I left at an ex-situationship’s place. How do I best ask/is it even worth it (wouldn’t be surprised if he threw it out).

6 comments
  1. I think you certainly CAN message him about it but frankly 3 months is a long time to hang onto a piece of clothing someone doesn’t seem to be coming back for. I doubt he still has it.

  2. I would just call the shirt a lost cause and move on, Op.

    Or…is your “incredibly rocky” relationship an excuse to talk to him? About the shirt, of course?

  3. There’s a good chance it’s long gone. On the off chance he does still have it, maybe it might be better to have a mutual friend ask him for it.

  4. I get wanting the shirt back, and like… you can try reaching out through a mutual friend, but I think it’s probably gone. After my breakup, I send my ex the stuff back I found, and everything I found after (including a single sock and some earrings) I just threw out or gave to other people.

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