Hey there, I just need to write this to get some… ideas…. I (f/31) have to admit to myself i have fallen in love with a colleague. He is much younger (m/25) and is single and i am in a relationship for 4 years. My boyfriend is an awesome, interesting and loyal person but does rarely have time and never plans anything for us and our future, so I am often quite alone and I don’t have a very bad conscience since I feel so neglected and he doesn’t change anything. I was completely frank with my colleague, told him I want to kiss him, I want to undress him, I found him sweet, etc. He was very cool with it but emphasizes i have a boyfriend,so we never did anything. But from day to day for me the tension and phantasy gets bigger and I have the feeling only “doing sth” would help. I have always been faithful so far but now I have the feeling I want it to happen. I am totally lost, and I hate to feel to get a bit dependent on my colleagues attention and being nice in the office. He is much younger and there is objectively not soooo much he offers, so it is irrational but my heart pounds if he merely looks at me….
Tl;dr: In not so great but deep relationship but have feelings and phantasies for colleague and hate myself for it.
1 comment
The fixation and guilt about liking your coworker is just a distraction from the issues in your relationship that you aren’t solving by staying in it.
Sounds like you would still have a crappy relationship whether or not you liked your coworker. So I’d fix that first.