My friend introduced me to a girl at the local gym that we all go together. I mainly do weightlifting and has been teaching her/motivating her about her progress(she is new to the sport), I made her a beginner program and and adjusted to her style and needs, we chat when we’re at the gym and we msg each other here and there, just to see how we’re doing since we both WFH and sometimes don’t see each other for a few days. I really enjoy being around her and we have similar personalities/interests and she laugh at my dumb jokes. I want to ask her to get coffee or lunch sometimes but the thing is I don’t want to ruin what we have atm, it’s innocent it’s nice we’re both lifting to get good and do competitions, this has been going on for about 3 monthsish. The friend that introduce me to her told me that she is seeing someone just talking but nothing too serious and he encouraged me to ask her out and just take a chance, but again I don’t want to ruin what we have, question: should I ask her out?
Senario 1: she said no and we can both be adults and ignore what I did
Senario 2 she said yes..
8 comments
I reckon your relationship with her is somehwat transactional / goal oriented – youre together in the gym to get something done. Shes also dating someone so… Maybe, scenario 3: don’t make it a date. Come up with a casual idea thats not coffee/lunch – something more eventful that will let you see her and her see you in a social environment. You need a bridge from the professional environment to a social one so she can see you as more than just a PT / gym partner.
Do It🙂 be direct and stop wasting people’s time
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>The friend that introduce me to her told me that she is seeing someone just talking but nothing too serious and he encouraged me to ask her out
Scenario 3: she says yes but another guy she knows sees you’re not serious yet so asks her out. They go out on a date and she suddenly announces she’s leaving you for him.
That wouldn’t feel very good to have happen, yet that’s what your friend is encouraging you to do to someone else.
If she’s in a relationship she’s not available.
I don’t think you should date people who you will see at the gym. It’s a general policy that I follow called: Don’t shit where you eat.
The scenario I’d like to avoid is a relationship that didn’t quite work out, but every day you have to see that person again, over and over, or find a new gym. Unfortunately it’s a bit harder to change gyms than change girls I’m interested in.
If this has been going on for 3 months she most likely sees you as a friend. One of the best things I learned from dating is to act fast, girls lose interest really fast and put someone on the “friendzone” where it’s hard for her to see you as a potential romantic partner. For example maybe she wasn’t seeing someone when you met her, you understand where I’m getting at?
She is just a friend, treat her as such. But move on for your dating needs.
No