I (23F) have been dating my girlfriend (27F) for over a year now and there has always been this issue of trust. She has almost no trust in me and I do not know why. I have always been honest with her from day 1, have never cheated and never will.
She is in constant fear that I am going to cheat on her which is getting a bit out of control now. I have absolutely no friends, I am very rarely on my phone other than when I am working, and we are always together. We live together and do almost everything together. Even if I was planning on cheating, I would not be able to as we are never apart.
Recently, I ended up in a psych ward due to my mental health. My doctor advised me that I need to start making friends as I am incredibly lonely which is causing me to become depressed. (I only have my girlfriend in my life. I have no family or friends).
There was a girl I met a while ago who reached out to me after I got out of the psych ward named A. I told my girlfriend and she encouraged me to become friends with A. So I started speaking with A every now and then for around a month. I spoke about my girlfriend often with A and she revealed to me that she is also queer. After telling my girlfriend, her whole demeanor changed and she started going on about how I was going to break up with her to be with A. This is obviously not true at all, but this incident made me not want to speak with A anymore to avoid another fight. I haven’t spoken with A for 3 weeks now.
Last night, my girlfriend confessed to snooping through my phone and reading all my chats with A. This has really angered me as I feel like she completely invaded my privacy. I had nothing to hide but I still feel so violated. The amount of distrust she has towards me really hurts me. I have no idea what I have done to deserve this.
There have been other instances in the past where she gets really jealous with no valid reason. When we met, I was close friends with someone I went to school with and we used to text often. She got angry that I would text him everyday and I then stopped speaking with him. I also made some friends in the psych ward which she was incredibly jealous of. When she would come visit me, she would often be jealous and think I am going to leave her for them.
I became really close friends with someone I met at the psych ward. He often wants to come visit me but I feel too scared of my girlfriends reaction to it. I have been avoiding seeing him in order to avoid a fight with my girlfriend.
I am now at the point where I am considering breaking up with her. I feel like I can not have a life other than her and feel like I can not have any friends. What should I do?
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TLDR: My girlfriend does not trust me and does not want me to have friends. I am considering breaking up
5 comments
This is where you break up with her. There is no way to build trust with someone with this kind of issue. No need to stay in a relationship that makes you miserable.
If trust is broken and she’s snooping, there is no point to continuing. Also, she should be supporting you.
You should have broken up the moment this behavior started.
She has isolated you so much that you had a mental breakdown. This is not love.
She is abusing you.
find somebody who does
you deserve friendships! your girlfriend doesn’t have to be your only support anymore. someone who genuinely loves you wants you to have many nourishing relationships, and will want to be connected with your friends too. coming from someone who also avoids conflict, and who has cut off friends to please my gf—it’s not worth it. you will feel resentful and regret your relationships lost for someone who doesn’t care to see you fulfilled. you can clearly state your boundary but it sounds like she won’t respect it. choose yourself and trust yourself. you got this <3