So my wife came out to me tonight and said that she’s bisexual, I’ve noticed lately that she has been sorta distant and has been pushing away my advances and I’ve found out she’s been masterbating more while I’m at work, which at first I wasn’t concerned about because it’s a natural thing and we bought the toys for her to use either with us together or if she has an urge, but now my mind is all over the place thinking she’s pleasuring herself to women and doesn’t want to be intimate with me, I guess I’m feeling kinda betrayed, I mean I’m glad she told me and I support her 100%, I want her to be who she’s meant to be but I can’t help feel kinda hurt, and to the ones saying a threesome could end up happening I’m not looking for that, I love my wife but I’m not sure how to navigate these waters. Anyone have any advice that’s been in a similar situation?
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My wife came out as pan 8 years into our marriage. It was a really tough time for her because she had a lot of anxiety about opening up to me.
She was worried I’d be offended or that I’d feel threatened. Her feelings toward me didn’t change, but she was afraid that I’d see her differently.
You may need to give this some time. I’m sure everyone processes this a bit differently. My wife talked to a therapist about her anxiety surrounding everything and that really seemed to help lift that weight off her shoulders.
My wife is bisexual, but I knew that before marriage. Try not to feel too betrayed. She’s attracted to more than one gender, but that doesn’t say anything about you and it doesn’t define her. She’s more than who she’s attracted to and it doesn’t have to mean anything in your relationship. Don’t mind fuck yourself into thinking it has to be an issue or a “thing”.
If you feel like she has been distant or pushing away, talk to her. But, don’t make it about her being bisexual. If you owned a dog and found out your wife also likes cats…would it bother you? Doesn’t mean she wants to get rid of your dog. Just means she likes cats too 🤷♂️
Thanks buddy I’ll see if she needs to talk to a therapist about any underlying issues she may have that she feels like she can’t talk to me about, she says she still in love me and doesn’t want to leave me. So that does give me some hope
Why are you hurt? According to you nothing has changed. What advice are you looking for? Did you say she wanted to try being with a woman? There are bisexual people who live forever in a happy, monogamous marriage.
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I can imagine the shock u must’ve taken, but what worries you?
Has she expressed any desire to explore that side of her with other women?
If she does, are u willing to sit down and talk about what that means to your monogamous marriage?
If so, how would you feel about that?
Those are the questions that would be going thru my mind…
She may, be bisexual and attracted to women, but that’s no different than you being straight and also attracted to women other than her if you’re in a monogamous marriage. I wouldn’t be bothered by who she’s attracted to, only who she’s committed to.