So I (30f) have been dating my SO(31m) since June, official since Aug(so still new but pretty serious). Everything has been great, no issues at all. This week he worked 55 hours in 4 days and was exhausted so I went to his place to chill. He fell asleep and left his phone on the bed and around 11:00 pm it rang and it was a girls name on the caller id. It then rang again and then once more. So the same girl called 3 times in 5 minute span. I have not felt in any way that he has been cheating or anything but obviously this threw me for a loop so I quietly left and sent him a text once I got home to call me in the morning, that I had seen a girl called him and I was feeling unsettled about it. He then calls me approx 20 min later freaking out, saying that the girl who called was in his room, in his bed. He said they used to date, he saw her out last week and she has been blowing him up all week. He was crying and audibly shaken on the phone, saying he felt so violated/confused when he woke from a deep sleep and I was gone and she was in his bed. My suggestion was to call the cops since she was breaking and entering but he said no. I could barely get words out because I don’t know what to believe. Has he been sleeping with her?! Like it takes a lot of balls for a girl to just walk in someone’s house in the middle of the night. Am I supposed to believe him that he hasn’t been hooking up with her or is this clearly a situation where I’m actually being cheated on and he’s just trying to play dumb. Like what the actual fuck. I have been in a billion different situations but nothing like this. Thoughts? Help?
12 comments
So this other woman just materialised in his bed after you left while he was completely unconscious the entire time. I mean it’s a pretty elaborate and original excuse for potential cheating. Realistic? Doesn’t sound like it.
If she broke in and is a stalker, has he filed a Police complaint?
It sounds like cheating. My question being how did she have access to his location?
Ask to see the calls he says he’s been dodging all week from her. Can’t really make that up and no one deletes their phone call history. So at least you could fact check part of his story
In the minority here, but I don’t understand why he would tell you she was there if he was cheating or call you that night. He could have waited until morning and given a vague excuse (ie: butt dial, wrong number, spam calls).
I do know someone who had a casual FWB who walked into his apartment in the middle of the night (uninvited) through a side door and it freaked him out. He did not call the police either because while it was creepy, he didn’t feel threatened (and he felt calling the police would escalate). He asked her to leave and cut contact.
honestly ? she could be a serious stalker and had been watching his place , saw you left and tried the door and was able to get in. your text very well could’ve woken him up and he saw her. idk, crazy ass shit happens when stalking is involved.
Calling you and refusing to call the police seems super weird tbh.
Did you leave his home unlocked when you left?
The replies to this post remindes me that there are many sheltered young people who has by great fortunes avoided many of the crazy people in the world..
OP is looking for any reason to prove his wrongdoings, when in reality it sounds like her bf got a case of bad ex.
Better leave him, even if it doesn’t seem like he has done any wrong, because you have serious trust issues and need to figure out those first, he deserves better.
I had a boyfriends ex pull this after she had seen us out together earlier that night. She kept calling so he blocked her. A little while later we thought we heard his roommates dog downstairs freaking out downstairs, but dismissed it. We were having sex and she walks into his upstairs bedroom, says “hi…” and sits down on the edge of the bed with us in it. We didnt know how long she had been in his house but were guessing it was since the dog had its freakout.
Jodi Arias much??
That is the most bizarre thing I have ever heard.
Honestly, the relationship is new enough that you can just walk away. Even if he was totally loyal, do you really want someone who has such weird ass drama in his life?
I think you should believe him.