I(M,29) come from a community where there’s either love marriage (You start dating, you start a relationship and eventually decide to get married) or there’s arranged marriage (your social circle will try to find a suitable person for you and you start meeting them, talking to them majorly keeping the marriage POV in mind and decide if you would want to get married and move ahead)
If you were able to convert your relationship into marriage what all aspects you had to compromise ? Are you happy with it? Asking in terms of personal goals, aspirations, change of culture etc.
If you had an arranged marriage, how much time did it take for you to get in sync with your partner ? Again, for that to work did you or your partner compromised on few areas ? Were they happy about it ?
All I’ve ever heard is for marriage to be successful and long lasting it takes huge effort from both parties involved. You would have to give up at times, is all of that true ? How does it make you feel down the line?
I want to marry my GF(29) and as per if we ever get married it would be a huge compromise and would also affect her freedom.
TL;DR : Looking to understand does marriage necessarily happen with compromises from both end, if so how does it feel down the line to give up on some of your dreams, aspirations etc.?
2 comments
2/3rds or more of everything you do is for the benefit of the household/relationship not yourself specifically. Chores, cooking, family events, etc.
Well I married by best friend. We started dating, got to know each other romantically, rushed into marriage, rocky moments due to disagreements, had children and tried to stay on our feet. We did have some issues recently back in Oct 2021, but uncertian about our future. I had to sacrafice my dream of traveling the world and live in a different state or country. Had to end my college education prematurely and end up in dead end jobs that I didn’t care for. I have a lot of uncontrollable debt. Gave up more in the end. Relationship sometimes feels onside, but she is trying to chsnge that. Culturally we are nearly the same (Americans), but heritage wise we are not. She is French Canadian and Welsh, I am Asian, Italian, and German. Some times things are odd at family reunions. Makes things interesting.
Looking back at all of this, I sort of wish things could of been more well better prepared. I didn’t want to get married right away, but I couldn’t bare the thought of losing her. She is my everything, but things go wrong I am leaving the state or immigrate to a country and not looking back. Sorry for the long read, also arrange marriages can some times work. Almost happened to me.