I’m generally a horny person, and I get especially horny when I’ve had a bit to drink. I typically tend to text guys to hook up for this reason. I rarely get a response when I do this and it’s so frustrating. Whenever I send these texts, it’s always to some guy I’ve had some sort of sexual history with, so I don’t think it’s a completely unreasonable thing to do? Especially since guys my age tend to be really horny and down to have some fun. I typically send a “Hey, wyd tn?” or, “Hey would you be dtf?” type of text. Is this too forward and aggressive? Is it trashy to send drunk texts like this? Is there a way I can adjust the wording to make guys more likely to respond? What should I do?
Edit:
No I am not fat, pls stop asking lol. I lift weights three times a week and do cardio twice a week. I’m 5’3″ and 120lbs.
34 comments
What time are you sending them? Like maybe they’re just sleeping?
I think probably the best thing is to have an open and honest discussion with them about it first.
“Hey are you ok with getting booty call texts when I’m drunk sometimes?” and then if they say yes to that it’s more likely they’ll know what to expect.
It can be a bit shocking for a guy to get a proposition out of nowhere. Like the whole “guys always just want to fuck” thing is a stereotype, men are people with complex emotional lives.
Do you proposition them sober? Or only when you’re drunk?
A) You are drunk
B) You can’t give consent with drunk, which can lead to sexual assault charges
C) If you can’t use complete words, I would block you
I wouldn’t call it trashy, not with people you have sexual history with. Maybe casually ask them about it when you meet them in person?
It may be as simple as them not being ready to have drunk sex at that point – maybe they’d prefer to be drunk too, or maybe they’ve had a wank already that evening and now they’re dry and sleepy. Despite what popular myth says, even young horny guys aren’t always ready to just drop everything and go have sex. Got shit to do -and there really is nothing worse than being the sober one having sex with a drunk person.
Also remember the shitty double standard – boys dtf are playas, girls are… something else.
But it sounds like it sucks and I hope you find a good fwb soon
I would ignore for two reasons:
1) I wouldn’t want to fuck anyone who might be too drunk to consent.
2) I wouldn’t want to fuck anyone who was inebriated if they wouldn’t also fuck me sober.
Are you really asking why people don’t queue up at your door for drunk sex at a moment’s notice? Sorry but that’s not really a great way to treat people if they’re not established, current fwbs.
These guys you’ve had some sort of history with in the past probably don’t want to revisit that past. Sober you accepts that but drunk you doesn’t.
What a dumb question. You’re drunk, it could literally go wrong a million different ways and the guy would always be at fault
Yeah as people have stated it’s almost 100% because you’re drunk. Plus you don’t tend to have sex with them on a regular basis. That’s a recipe for disaster I say. Good on them though, at least it seems like they have some type of morals. You should be more worried if they quickly and readily accepted it.
Well for a start your drunk so that’s a red flag in it’s self because you can’t properly give consent.
Secondly, it’s probably stupid o’clock in the morning so I’m in bed sleeping and no booty call os worth getting one’s ass out of bed during sleep time for
You treat men like objects, some of them have realised it.
🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Ok without being to judgemental you are talking about a purely 100% hookup culture thing. So the issues you have will probably be mostly shallow ones.
If I had to take a guess it is that you are taking awhile between boots calls so these guys aren’t official FWB. Then if you call usually while drunk you probably aren’t hitting them up until how late at night? These guys have probably already sewn up their options by then. They are probably already out doing other things. Also hookup culture is insanely. Notorious for not extending pleasantries or social politeness. If they aren’t DTF they will ignore you.
Make a sacrifice and seek out 1 or 2 official FWB guys. It’s safer and you will get better responses. Also instead of seeming entitled to dick randomly by hitting them up out of nowhere at midnight or whatever. Maybe plan a day or two ahead, heck even earlier that same day. Hit them up before hand and say hey I am gonna be going out tommorrow night with some friends but would love to swing by and hook up on my way home that night if it works out. You will probably get alot better answers. Even more so if you are always drunk when doing this. Maybe sloppy drunk you is a bit sloppier than you think.
More guys are aware that drunk people can’t consent and won’t want to engage with it
So basically you’re texting guys and asking…
“Hey, wanna get charged with rape tomorrow when I sober up and regret my drunk decisions?”
This is something you need to arrange before you get drunk. Maybe txt someone in the middle of the day on a Wednesday and say…
“I plan on getting wasted Saturday night. Wanna make a date of it? I sometimes get horny when I’m drunk, so if it goes that way, this is sober me giving consent…”
Personally, drunkenness I’d a major turnoff for me. Kind of just annoying to deal with even after disregarding that it’s walking a fine line of consent. And it’s a bit insulting to say that all guys your age (I’m also 22) should be dtf at a moments notice on your whim just because that’s “how they are”. And it seems the guys you’re drunk texting feel the same way, or they’re just not interested.
If you are in the US, they probably dont’t want to end up in jail for the rest of their life in case you change your mind afterwards.
I can’t imagine why men wouldn’t want to screw a drunk girl who messages them out of the blue. I mean it’s not like she could change her mind in the morning and have them charged with rape or anything. 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ I’m going to bet a lot of them also have more self-respect than that
You’re drunk, so it’s just not a safe proposition.
You’re drunk, so it’s just not likely to pan out if they did take you seriously, so it’s better to not take you seriously.
I know a girl who is exactly your age that does this when she’s tipsy after house parties or nights out at the bar. I’ve had sex with her three times. She’s called me plenty of times since then. Here’s why I don’t have sex with her anymore.
1. She calls me out of the blue. She usually calls TH/F/S nights with no warning. I don’t want to stop whatever I’m doing. Like she’ll call me when I’m with friends I can’t just leave them.
2. She calls me and it’s too late. I’m sleeping or trying to sleep.
3. She’s too far away. Sometimes she’s like 15 minutes. Cool. Sometimes she’s like 40 minutes away. Ugh.
4. She’s not fun to have sex with drunk. She’s fun to touch and kiss and flirt with but respectfully without going into detail sex with her is a chore.
people pick up on vibes. if you’re feeling lonely or needy other people can feel that and it honestly repels people. gotta focus on yourself first and get clear about what you want and how you deserve to be treated. then you’ll all react the right people and experiences to you, that lines up with what you desire.
I’m just going to be blunt, but maybe they weren’t satisfied with the sexual history and aren’t interested. It’s not a communication issue. Just find someone new instead of looking for past hookups.
based on your post history, im gonna say they’re probably just not that into you
Brutal honesty time..
We know you’re shitcanned, which means you’re probably gonna just lay there like a starfish and not participate much. Also, because drunk, you’re probably not gonna take your ass home afterwords. If you’re really drunk, I’m gonna have to deal with you barfing later, and that sucks.
If you’re drunk enough to be barfing, you’re probably also drunk enough to be emotional and whiney.. that’s also something we almost never ever want to put up with
So all in all, I hope you can understand that at least a few people would consider it more work than it’s worth.
I’m sure you’re an amazing person and an otherwise wonderful bang, but those are some of the things that go through our head when we see that 2am drunk text.
You’d be surprised at the amount of guys who aren’t really into that
There is no scenario where sober me responds to and engages with a drunk “you up?” Call.
I feel nervous about that sort of thing with my own wife.
Maybe because you are just expecting sex on demand.
Your post history is really concerning, OP. A yesr ago you were desperately wanting a relationship and now you’re desperately looking for sex.
All of your repeated posts are about this topic and this topic only. It suggests that you may have severely low self esteem and seek validation from men and from being sexually desired.
Can i suggest you seek some counseling? People can sense that desperation and it drives people away, even for casual sex.
Might work with people that have no options, but people that regularly have sex don’t like being a drunk persons option.
Is this some fake post to get guys to DM you or are you just criminally unaware?
Believe it or not, some men don’t want to feel like they are only fuckable when you’re drunk. Plus when one person is sober and the other is trashed, sex is typically awful.
your edit speaks volumes. no amount of pretty eyes and smaller scale number de-uglies a shallow soul.
Honestly I strongly feel like women need to stop treating men like they aren’t human. Men are not fucking dogs that just come running just because you call them. Men love and enjoy and desire intimacy too women!!! Get out of the using men mindset. Ok if you are ok with “fucking” and not making love thats fine but if you haven’t even established that you are going to be making these kinds of texts or calls etc and you’re just expecting them to fucking come over whenever you want. Thats just a very shallow mindset. You are young. So I get that. But be better mama. Men are people too.