I have been dating this guy for 2 months. We were exclusive but now were not. He said he felt trapped and didn’t want to be monogamous anymore. I don’t think he’s seeing anyone else since he’s a pretty busy guy and barely has time for me…but the other day he asked me to come over on a Thursday and I said I had plans. I had a coffee date. He asked if I had a date over text but I avoided the question. We agreed not to discuss if we were seeing other people. He tried to ask me again in person but I dodged it. To me honest I only want him but if he’s keeping his options open so am i. I asked if he was upset that I didn’t answer him and he said no. He has been pretty distant with me now and he doesn’t FaceTime me as much. We used to FaceTime before bed a lot. He also doesn’t ask what my week was like or what I did over the weekend anymore. He did say “my head would explode if you were with another guy” so maybe he’s actually upset. This man can never tell me how he truly feels about me he’s the worst at communicating his feelings. His answer always changes. He told me over text that he felt he was “neglecting his friends and me” idk what that means.
I’m seeing him tonight to watch our new favorite show and make cinnamon rolls lol. Should I bring up the topic and ask if he’s actually cool with me dating? I feel like there’s this elephant in the room, but maybe its all in my head.
5 comments
Why exactly you are even talking to him. He felt trapped and wanted to see other people, so you should let him, and move to better options. Your life is none of his business. Find another guy to make cinnamon rolls with and don’t waste your time on this wishy-washy dude. I noticed that people who are that “bad at communicating” in reality just like keeping it intentionally vague, so they can still keep you around.
“I’m really busy” = I’m fucking other girls.
You are wasting your time with this guy. Don’t get me wrong, it’s your time to waste if that’s what you want to do, but at least acknowledge the facts.
He wants you to be monogamous but won’t do the same himself. I’d drop him if I were you
He wants control over you.
I suggest looking into Attachment Theory. He sounds like an “avoidant” partner, they are notoriously difficult to date. Good luck!