I (18f) met this guy (18m) through a friend (Fran) about 3 months ago. We met when Fran invited me out to meet her friends and this guy was there. I thought he was cute but that was it. Throughout the night he made efforts to speak to me and sit next to me and we ended up speaking the whole night. He did most of the talking which I didn’t mind. He asked for my number and we began messaging each other. He’d message me everyday, which I don’t mind, but he’d make really useless conversation (like asking me how I’m doing every single day) which I find to be unnecessary. I tried bringing up topics like hobbies and all that but it was still super dry. He ended up telling Fran that the messages were dry and I was a bad texter which I don’t think is true, I was just working with what I had. We spoke for like 2 weeks and then I ended up ‘ignoring’ the last message he sent to me. This was in July.
About 2 weeks ago, Fran invited me out with these people again and I saw him again. We didn’t speak because I really had nothing to say but I think he was trying to make moves by standing really close to me (but he wouldn’t say much) and he even made me a drink but I didn’t read too into it cause I don’t see him that way. At the end of the night when I was about to leave he hugs me and tells me he still wants to speak to me and I was like okay. But it’s the same old stuff and I’m really tired of pretending like I’m into it. He suggested phone calls but we’re both busy in the day (he’s in Uni and I’m doing my A levels) and the only time he claims to have time to call is at midnight when I’m sleeping. He sends me long voice notes at midnight talking about what he did all day but not once has he asked about my day.
Keep in mind that at no point did I say I was interested in being more than friends but there’s where he’s trying to go with it and I feel bad cause Fran is his friend and I don’t want to make things weird and be mean and all that.
Then a few days ago, he sent me yet another long voice note after not replying for like 5 days saying he’s sorry and that he understands if I don’t want to talk to him anymore cause he’s been an ‘a$$hole’. So I’m struggling to think of what I can say as this could be my opportunity to put this whole thing to rest without making it awkward in the future. Any suggestions?
Sorry for this long story. Xx
TL;DR : I’m struggling to speak to this guy because I don’t think we have anything in common but he still wants to pursue me
Edit : does anyone have any suggestions on how I could end this and let him know I’m not interested in a romantic relationship with him in the kindest way possible?
2 comments
You are overthinking this. Just be real – you dont owe this guy anything.
Just say something like “When we talked by text it just didn’t seem like we were on the same page, I didn’t feel like I wanted to keep talking to you because we never really clicked and got into a good conversation. I think it’s probably best to go our separate ways.”