I lost my virginity to my boyfriend while he’s had one night stands and FWBs before. I love him and our relationship is amazing but I can’t help but feel jealous that he’s been able to explore and knows what he likes whereas I only know what it’s like to be with him. I find myself thinking about sex with a lot of different kinds of men and I feel guilty. I told my BF I wanted to try other guys and he said “NSA sex sucks but do what you want. I support you.”
I downloaded Tinder and I have many matches and a few guys wanting to meet up this week. My boyfriend has been more quiet and I feel guilty but I really want to sleep with another guy or two. We live together and plan on getting married one day but I’m so scared of ruining what we have. He didn’t give me boundaries or anything.
I don’t know if he’s saying yes even though it hurts but I also don’t know if I can be happy always wondering what it’s like to be with different kinds of men
17 comments
Probably a 99% chance involving others will ruin your relationship.
Maybe talk to him and see if he’d be open to an MFM 3sum first.
Doesn’t sound like you have talked this through. So my guess is that if you show up one morning next week, telling him that you slept with a couple of random tinder guys, he’s gonna choke on his breakfast.
Unfortunately, you might need to have a few one night stands to realize you shouldn’t have. Hopefully you don’t catch something.
Sounds like you got an half-assed okay from him because he doesn’t want to lose you and you started things without him being really okay with it. Also not a great idea not to talk about boundaries. Is this gonna be a one time thing? Do you wanna hookup multiple times? What about protection? Is he okay if you try things you haven’t done with him?
This sounds like it’s mostly gonna ruin your relationship imo.
Also I don’t really agree with the premise. My wife had multiple partners before we met, that doesn’t allow me to sleep around now. But I get that you’re curious about it.
Your relationship will never survive this I’m sorry , if you value the curiosity of another dick over someone who loves you and you claim to love them then maybe it’s not going to work out in the long run.
Can you imagine how hurtful this would be if reversed? My god, I would cry my eyes out if this happened to me. Your boyfriend wants to make you happy, but this is very selfish if you haven’t had a thorough discussion with him about his boundaries, and if he really is ok with this.
He’s getting more quiet and you feel guilty. That tells you everything you need to know about this. I hope your relationship even survives this suggestion.
As a guy in a relationship, I would personally suggest a MFM, at least.
Letting each other run loose with other ppl, might contract bad thoughts. If I was in his position, I would eventually break it off. Sorry.
You can’t have the cake and eat it too. I can see where you’re coming from, and he actually sounds really respectful and supportive. You’ll end up messing it up, if you can’t curb your desires for other men. No matter what you do, there’s already mistrust and hurt feelings, sunce you desire others than him. Imagine the role switched, how devastated it would feel, that sex is more important, than the intimacy with one you love
Some people just gotta learn the hard way I guess….
Get, where are you located, happily will be your second notch! No strings attached. 😉
This will likely wreck your relationship, but at the same time, if you don’t do it, you’ll probably out regret it forever and THAT will wreck your relationship. What if you took a break/broke up for a while and then in six months or so meet up and discuss whether you want to try again? I can’t think of anything that might work beyond that.
If you want it try it but make sure it’s what he wants and also see if he wants to add a girl spice it up or don’t but be careful
If this is how you’re thinking about and approaching this, save both of you guys some time and just breakup with him now.
You will destroy the relationship don’t do it
If he is quiet and haven’t given you any guidelines he is most likely hurt and would need some more in depth discussion. As someone who has had plenty of flings I can tell you that nothing is ever going to beat your long term partner – as long as all of your desires are met. Have you thought about involving him? Doing threesomes or letting him pick out the guys for you? Something that would let him feel like he has some control or say in this situation. Either way it’s going to be difficult to navigate this.
Abort right now. There’s no way of this not ruining your relationship down the line because the building resentment within your SO.
One night stands are lousy and hardly approach sex with someone you love with few exceptions in my experience. One night stand sex has always been a downgrade from relationship sex.