Need some advice on this. Was having sex with a girl I just started dating and while we were at it I lightly slapped her face and she immediately stopped and told me she was uncomfortable.

18 comments

  2. I guess you can start by explaining what the heck was going through your head when you did that.

  4. Is this a serious question? Do you honestly not know how to say “I’m sorry. I got carried away and I should not have done that. It won’t happen again”? If you don’t know how to apologize, maybe you shouldn’t be dating.

  5. JHC. You need to ask yourself how on earth it ever occurred to you to hit someone without their permission.

  7. By apologizing profusely, not thinking you’re entitled to her forgiveness and never role playing porn scenes w/o checking with the other person first.

  8. You don’t apologize, you leave her alone. You physically assaulted her. She probably doesn’t want to hear from you again.

    No apology is ever enough for that.

  9. Be direct and succinct. “I’m sorry for slapping you, that was out of line” and leave it there. Be prepared for her to not want an excuse or explanation and leave room for her to not accept it and/or want to go your separate ways

  10. Some women are into rough play and have kinks in line with this, but it has to be communicated in some way before you ever try anything. That you assumed she would like being slapped, however lightly, is a sign you have some issues with consent and should practice talking through *everything* you intend to do during sex to be certain your partner is comfortable.

    That said, you might have spoiled this new relationship, and it would be fair of her to call it off. You violated her trust and made her feel unsafe in one of the most vulnerable situations a person could be in. If you want to repair this, or at the very least help her feel safe again, approach her with a sincere apology and an explanation that you were trying something you assumed she would like because you’ve seen it or had that experience with other girls before, but that you obviously miscalculated and disrespected her. Tell her that if she is interested in moving forward with you, you’ll be committed to asking what she likes and listening, that you will respect her desires and boundaries, and that you will value open and clear communication in the future. If she says she’s no longer interested, accept it with grace and wish her the best.

  12. Imagine being stupid enough to slap someone during sex without their consent, then compounding on that stupidity by asking the internet how an apology works. Were you home schooled your entire life or something? Pathetic as fuck.

  13. Why in the fuck would you think it’s ok to slap a partner in the face during sex if you haven’t talked about that beforehand? If unprovoked assault is what gets you off, you should cut your dick off.

    Psychopath.

  15. Learn consent first off. Having sex with someone is not a free pass to physically abuse them, which is what you did because she didn’t consent to it FIRST.

  16. 😅. Apologize sincerely, heartfelt. Maybe take a small sentiment like chocolates/flowers, especially if she’s the senti type. Let her know that you are truly sorry, and slip it in (don’t make it more topical than your apology) that it’s a kink, not s violent urge!

    All the best! 💕💕

  18. Lol at everybody wanting to call the sex assault hotline.

    Bruh, a little rough play is normal and probably expected by most hoes. I mean if it was her first time then maybe, but girls generally like it when men are dominant, and while some girls are more into rougher stuff than others, a playful and spontaneous exploration during sex is par for the course.

    You tried something. I’m sure sure you didn’t even slap her that hard. She said “No.” Oh… I thought you guys kept going… But she shut it down right then and there?

    Okay, well what you should have done is when she says “No thank you.”, you apologize, “Ok, honey, we don’t have to do that.” and you go from there.

    The fact that she stopped coitus for the night doesn’t necessarily mean that she hates you. I think you can reassure her that you willing to respect her boundaries, and maybe you just got carried away in the moment. Possibly, because it’s kinda new to you?

    I think if you talk to her frankly about your ideas on what you think might be a fun and appropriate level of “rough play” in the bedroom she will still like you.

    Just go slow from now and and reassure her that however she wants her love making it will be enough for you because it’s her that makes the sex special not any kind of kinky special moves.

    How hard did you slap her?

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