I tried talking my new friend (we’ve been friends for a month) into taking a trip with me to Dallas for a weekend concert. We live in Houston. He said he wouldn’t be able to go but that I can possibly go with his girlfriend if she’s willing.
That kind of shocked me because most guys would never feel comfortable or see it as normal to allow their girlfriend to travel a far distance with another guy. Especially because this event would prompt us to stay overnight in another town and the plan was to use an Airbnb.
Also he’s only known me for a few weeks, so how would he know he could trust me? Is he secretly trying to test me?
7 comments
Sounds like he trusts his girlfriend. Good for him
He might be a cuckold and is hoping you and her get together.
How old is he? Could he perhaps be naive or not have many bad things in life happen to him yet? I personally would feel very uncomfortable staying with someone of the opposite gender even if we both were single. There’s so much that could go wrong with that or could be implied or even a safety issue (I’m a woman) or that others might develop negative impressions of me due to that even if we are both strongly platonic. Women have to view the world differently sadly and I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that even if the guy was a great friend I had known for several years. Many people would view that as inappropriate or feel uncomfortable. Even if you are a guy, staying with a woman could be bad if she wanted to accuse you of something later. I typically automatically believe women but im just pointing out bad scenarios. It’s why they typically teach for examples coaches to never stay in the same room with players. It can open up bad doors for both sides and I’ve seen that happen in real life too where scandals have opened up due to that.
I have done similar things with my gf, and it felt wrong for her and me, its like why would i ever do that? Turns out she didnt feel like i was her boyfriend when i so loosely allowed potential other guys have power to do stuff to her.
Its really about her feelings. She needs to feel safe and protected, and now that i mark her, i tell her no to guys she talks to or i say stay away from guys, i mark her as mine and i tell her what to do, allowing her to feel protected and to just follow my lead. I cant control her, but i can set boundaries and be upset with her if she thinks its okay to do otherwise.
I would absolutely never allow her to stay overnight in an airbnb with another guy, ever. But theres a few friends of her that i still would, because i truly know they never would do anything
he just trusts his girlfriend. he expects and trusts you to follow the bro code. he doesn’t have anything to worry about.
Regardless of why he asked, this is obviously a bad idea. I wouldn’t pursue it. Most sufferring in life comes from putting yourself in bad situations and the potential risks here are overwhelming.
I would ask the girlfriend directly if she’s comfortable going with you. That’s what matters. And hey if you’re not comfortable either 🤷🏼 don’t go.