Me (25M) and my girlfriend (24F) have been together on a long-distance relationship for a little over 2 years, we meet for a few weeks every 2 months or so. Over the past \~8 months or so I’ve felt like she has been very cold towards me, and I don’t feel like she loves me like she used to. We also haven’t done anything sexual in around 8 months, when we used to do it on a weekly basis (when we were together in person). Today we had a very open and honest conversation about our feelings. I told her that I know I love her, and I want to try to make things to work out between us. She said that she still likes me and loves me a lot, but those feelings just don’t cross her mind on a day-to-day basis, she doesn’t think about it and said she’s not sure herself how to feel, or how she feels. I asked her if it’s anything that I’ve done or the way I’ve been, she said that I’ve been perfect and her best partner yet, that I’ve done nothing wrong. She also said that maybe long-term relationships aren’t for her yet, and that she doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. Then I told her that it’s not fair to both of us, because I want more out of a relationship, I want someone who will truly love me and be there for me. She said she would think about it, and maybe would have more to say the next time we talked about this.
Am I right in thinking that maybe she is scared to face her true feelings? I get that she doesn’t want to hurt me, I wouldn’t want to hurt her too, but if she doesn’t feel anything special towards me anymore, it would be best to end things, right? But then she said she is sure she still loves me, so I don’t know what to make of it. Maybe this is just the way she is, and how she deals with her feelings?
We haven’t broken up, but we talked about taking a break. For now though, nothing has happened.
TLDR: Girlfriend has been cold towards me for a long time now, says she is sure that she still loves me, but doesn’t think about it on a daily basis. I don’t know what to make of it. Is she scared to face her true feelings? Or is this just the way she is?
I would really appreciate some external input on our situation. I feel like I don’t have anyone in my life who I would be able to talk to about this without being heavily judged.
3 comments
That’s an odd thing for her to say.
She doesn’t think about you- you aren’t a priority for her and she doesn’t miss you when you aren’t there. It’s time to break up
I agree with you. I think it’s best to end things, you deserve someone who is sure they feel about you how you feel about them. And shows it
I always consider actions more than words. She says she loves you but as you said, she’s been cold. At the most, you can wait to see how things change after this conversation. If it doesn’t change quickly then maybe move on and start your next adventure.